The Joy in Cleaning

     This past Friday was a day of deep cleaning. I was expecting a lot of company on Saturday so Friday I dove into cleaning my house. I tackled areas that had been neglected for quite some time. I cleaned the inside and outside of all my windows, dusted blinds, wiped down kitchen cabinets, bathroom cabinets, vacuumed ceiling fans...you get the idea. Pretty much it was a BLAH day!

    If you have been to my house you know that I have white cabinets. Picture this a 21 month old toddler and white cabinets. I was down on my hands and knees cleaning hand print, after hand print, smudge after smudge from little Meritt and I ALMOST let myself get a feeling of frustration but just before the frustration swept over me I was flooded with the thought that in a few short years I won't have smudges or hand prints to clean. My little girl won't be a little girl she will be a big girl and I will long for these moments of remembering her sweet little hands.


    I then began to pray. Every time I came across a hand print of Meritt's or a smudge made by Meritt I prayed. I prayed that she would grow up and love God more than anything. I prayed that at that very moment God is raising up a young man that is going to be her husband and that he will love Meritt but that he will love God more than Meritt. I prayed for Meritt to have a tender heart. I prayed that she would be quick to listen and slow to speak. I prayed that she would be quick to forgive and be kind to all people. As I prayed these prayers suddenly cleaning didn't feel like the chore that it had started out to be.

    My prayers for Meritt then turned to prayers for my husband, for my family, for my friends. This daunting task of cleaning had turned into such a blessing. As my day came to an end Friday my house was clean and my heart was full. Full to the brim. I felt joy, and a feeling of calmness knowing that my baby, husband, family and friends are all being guarded by our Heavenly Father!! I know that there will be frustrations to come in life's boring tasks but I pray that I remember Friday and that when the mundane tasks come I can turn those tasks into a time of joyous conversation between me and my Heavenly Father!!

Hopeless

      Maybe it is because I am getting older;  or maybe it is because it is the reality of the world we live in but I am overwhelmed by the amount of people living in circumstances that at the time can only be described as hopeless. 

      This is a picture of my beautiful sister in law, Brooke, and our sweet friend Josh. A couple of summers ago my dad coached an inner city baseball team. Josh was one of his players. My parents found themselves picking Josh up and taking him home after practices and ball games. A few weeks later they started bringing him to church. Over the last couple of years I can count on one hand how many times Josh has missed church. He loves my parents and he loves to come to church.

    Josh had been coming to church for 7 or 8 months when he told my dad that he wanted to proclaim Jesus as his Lord and Savior and he wanted to be baptized. It was a Wednesday night and I can still see Josh being dunked in the water and coming up a new babe in Christ.

       Now for the hopeless part of this story...Josh's parents are separated. He primarily lives with his mom in a public housing complex in Jackson. It is the norm to hear gun shots, to talk about gangs and to witness arrests. Josh's brother, a gang member, was released from prison a few months ago and lives with Josh and his mom.

     Hopeless...this weekend Josh's mom has been in the hospital having fluid removed from her heart because she has congestive heart failure. Same weekend...Josh's dad is in the hospital because of terminal cancer.  Josh, this weekend has taken care of himself, found something to eat and tried his best at 13 years old to stay out of trouble.  Saturday night he called my dad to tell him to make sure and pick him up for church. When my parents got there this morning Josh told them of his parents hospitalizations.

    Thirteen years old, 13 years old, Thirteen years young! Josh has more baggage to carry than some people will carry their entire lives. Josh at times makes immature decisions, Josh at times says inappropriate things, but this from a boy who basically is raising himself...hopeless.

    And just when I am completely flooded and frustrated with the hopelessness that is Josh's reality I am reminded of a young babe that was born in a manger, a feeding trough, for barn animals and through all the hopeless circumstances that surrounded this young babe he grew to be a young man and He died saving the world of our hopeless sins.

   I am reminded that true hopeless is not knowing Jesus! I am reminded that Josh while surrounded by difficulty is also surrounded by a Savior who lived so that He could die to save the hopeless to save us all. I ask that you all pray for Josh's current situation and for his parents. I also ask that you say a prayer of Thanksgiving to the God who delivered us all from a hopeless world.

The Inspirational Betty

    

    Last night while looking at this picture I became overwhelmed with emotion. Not because I knew Matthew, the deceased, all that well but because of the background. Look at the lady sitting behind the memorial in the turquoise pants. That is the part that brought tears to my eyes and made me appreciate my blessings all the more.

   This Memorial as you can see is for CPL Matthew Clark. Two and a half years ago, February 3, 2010, Matthew and two others were killed when on a helicopter training excercise in Germany. The family of Matthew and the other two guys have forever been changed. They now have a pain in their heart and miss the voice and presence of Matthew every single day.

  Matthew's brother, Nick, is a very close friend to me and Brian. I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing when I got the call from Kristin, Nick's wife. I was devestated for Nick and his entire family.

   The woman in the background of the memorial is Betty Clark. She buried her husband too early in life. She also buried her son, Matthew Clark, way before his time. This picture hurts my heart because I cannot imagine sitting on that bench and looking at the spot that stole my son's future. That spot held him last. His mother didn't get to hold him last. That spot held him last. 

  As a mother now myself I have learned so much from Betty. I have learned that everyday with my child is precious. I have learned to not take my daughter for granted because no day is guaranteed.  I also know that no one will escape this life without heartache and hurt. What shapes us is how react to the heartaches in our life.

   While I am sure there is not a day that Betty doesn't grieve her precious Matthew she continues to live life and be such an inspiration to everyone that knows her. If you read this I ask that you say a special prayer for the Clark's as they continue to mourn their precious Matthew.
           

The Best Cravings

   When it has been a bad day or maybe a bad week what are the things you turn to to find comfort and satisfaction? If I am stressed or having a bad day I go shopping. I literally could shop everyday. I love to scour the stores to find that perfect item that was meant just for me! I can buy a phone case or a wallet or earrings...really anything and instantly I feel better. I get home and pull my purchase out of the sack only to feel empty again. If you have ever tried to fill a void with any earthly thing then you know what I am talking about.

   I have friends that have tried to fill this void with relationships. I have had friends that felt like if they met Mr. Right the void would then be full. They have spent countless time and heartache on relationships only to find that the guy is a loser or maybe he is fabulous but the void is still there. 

   I have had friends that have tried to fill the void with hobbies. Hunting, Running, or the beach these things all are great in the moment but at the end of the day when the hunt is complete, the runners high has deflated or the sun sets on the ocean the void begins to pour in.

   Over the past few weeks I have been praying a prayer and I want to share it...

Lord,  at the start of this day please fill me up to the brim with YOU. Fill me with YOUR ever satisfying love. Fill me with YOUR ever satisfying peace. Fill me with YOUR ever satisfying comfort. Lord, I want to be full of YOU so that I don't spend today chasing after everything else that will momentarily make me feel complete. I want to be complete in YOU because I know that YOU are the only thing that can make me whole. In Jesus name, amen.


It is so easy to crave the things of this earth. They all look so inticing. But if you spend a day full of the Lord you will find true comfort.

Girl Talk

  Eph 4:29. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

I cannot believe she wore that outfit last night! She has gained so much weight! Can you believe how she handles her kids?...All of these things and many more have came out of my mouth about people that I call sisters in Christ. I am ashamed, embarassed and sorry. I also will admit that it will probably happen a million more times during my life.


   It has always been a question of mine but why is gossip and slander so popular amongst females? I am not saying that guys don't do it but it is much less frequent than girls. A group of girls get in a room and they immediately start in on another girl. Words cut deep, they stay in your heart and in your mind long after the I'm sorry's are exchanged.

   Sunday morning our sermon focused on Ephesians 4:28-32. One verse imparticular jumped out at me. I made a pact with Brian on Sunday that this would be my focus for the week. I have only failed 10,000 times already this week but I have caught myself most of those times and gone back to the verse to reflect and refresh myself.

   Eph 4:29. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

  Wow I have been stunned this week at how big of a struggle this is for me. I have been made aware that so many of us call each other friends and sisters in Christ and worship in the same room only to turn around and say a nasty remark about each other. I am thankful for this verse jumping out at me.

   I am taking on a challenge and I encourage any of you reading this to take it with me...I am committing to build up people instead of tear them down. I am asking those that I know when they hear me say something that tears down to bring it to my attention so that I may go back to the verse and reflect.

   Eph 4:29. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

An Encouraging Friend

    It was Hot! The heat index was 100 plus degrees. The humidity was thick, really thick. I wanted to tell the girls I wouldn't be able to make it. I thought of a million excuses of why I couldn't run. But when it came down to it they were all just excuses and I knew if I ran I would have no regrets after. I knew if I didn't run I would have a million regrets the rest of the night...


   We started later than usual and we all talked about how it was too hot and we didn't really feel like running. We laced up our shoes, suppressed those negative thoughts and we hit the pavement. A few minutes into the run and I was feeling like a million bucks. Yes, I was hot but the stress of my day was escaping my mind with each step that I took. I ran past cute little kids on their bicycles and happy families that were playing in their yards. My side started hurting but I ignored it and continued pushing through.

    I had 3/4 of mile left when I started wanting to walk. I fought the urge and continued on. Then my side was really hurting I was in pain! I slowed to a jog and with about a half mile left I started to walk. I really hadn't been walking long at all when I heard a voice behind me. It was one of my girlfriends, she was yelling "keep going Brooke! you got this!" as much as I wanted to walk I picked up my feet and finished my run strong.

   I was so thankful for the encouragement because without it I most likely would've finished the last half mile walking. The encouragement reminded me of the blessings that our friends are. God blesses us with friendships with the intention that we encourage each other in our walk with Him. I am thankful for friendship and I pray that I am a source of encouragement to those around me. May we all build each other up in our walk with Christ and be there when we see a friend who is weary :)

Bath time Stories

   It's a new trick she's picked up the last couple of weeks. She now knows how to open the drain in the bath tub. She loves to open the drain and then listen to the water as it leaves the bathtub at a rapid speed and flows down the drain. Then everytime like it's the first time, she looks up and realizes all at once that her beloved bath water is leaving her tub. She looks at the water, looks up at me. Looks back down at the water, back up at me and then the tears begin to flow. I close the drain and all is better in her little bathtub world (until tomorrow's bath when she opens the drain).

  This scene is redundant, hillarious and pitiful all rolled into one. Yesterday was a messy day. We played outside and Meritt got sweaty and dirty so before lunch we headed in for a bath. The scenario that I described above played out and I got her out of the bath all the while trying my best not to cry at how funny and cute it was. Yesterday afternoon I spray painted a piece of furniture and Meritt played in a huge pile of dirt. Her hands, feet, and seersucker bubble all covered in dry dirt. So for the second time we headed in for a bath.

   It was during the second bath while Meritt was looking at her water and wondering why she couldn't enjoy the water in the tub and the sound of the drain all at the same time without having to sacrifice either that I was struck. Over these last couple of weeks I've thought how funny this little bath time scenario is. Yesterday I became reflective of my own life. How many times have I ate whatever I wanted, only to look down at the scale to find that the numbers were growing? Much like Meritt I've looked up and thought why can't I have both? Whatever I want to eat and still weigh 120? I have focused on things and people more than I have focused on God only to stop and wonder why I feel like God is so far away? Again I look up and wonder why can't I put all the things that bring me pleasure before God but still have God stay right beside me?

   As adorable as the story of Meritt in the bath is, it was also a reminder to me that I can't have everything. I can't have all the pleasures of this world without consequences. Every choice we make has a consequence. Whether we lose bath water or we get a speeding ticket. Every choice has a consequence. May we all be aware of our choices and stop and think before making decisions.