Babbling Brooke

Babbling Brooke

Monday, May 1, 2017

Weeds to Wildflowers

     It was 3 years ago today.  I recount it all as though it was yesterday.  I was VERY pregnant with Wells.  11 days shy of him being born, to be exact.  I had reached the point physically that I did not care what pain might lie ahead; i wanted this baby out of me.  I was at the point where I was huge, swollen and insomnia was my nightly visitor.  It hurt to sit, to lay, to walk...it all hurt. Physically it was time.

     As ready as my physical body was to welcome Wells, my emotional side was apprehensive.  How could I possibly love another child like I love Meritt? How will I be able to get 2 children dressed and ready everyday? What will Meritt do when so much of my time will be occupied with a newborn? These and so many other questions and doubts ran CONSTANTLY through my mind.  Emotionally I wasn't sure it was time.

      Three years ago today Meritt and I were heading to the store to purchase some last minute baby items.  While driving we passed by a field full of (to me) yellow weeds (to Meritt) pretty yellow flowers.  From her car seat she exclaimed "look mommy pretty yellow flowers" something prompted me to pull over on the side of the road and let her play in them.  Meritt ran and picked flowers, she smelled them and explored the large field.  I smiled as I watched her little spirit enjoy life; even while smiling i was struck with the anxious pain that had haunted me so much the last several months...How are we going to do this? How are we going to love two kids equally? How is all of this going to work? I began to pray and ask God to intercede to calm my fears and to give us the strength and guidance we needed to parent two children.

        Meritt played for 10 or so minutes and I spent those minutes praying to God.  As I buckled her in the car I felt an overwhelming peace.  Many uncertainties lied ahead of us but I knew that God was with me and that assurance was more peaceful than i can describe.  I took one more glance at those yellow weeds but strangely they looked more like flowers to me now too.

      Every April & May I pass these yellow wildflowers and I am always reminded of my prayer to God.  When I see the wildflowers I smile because I remember God's faitfulness.  Wells is now 2 and Meritt 5 and at this point in life it is almost comical that I was so anxious about something that now seems so silly.  That is one of the MANY things that I love so much about God, though.  No matter how petty or small our concern is He wants us to give it to Him.  He cares for our small concerns as much as He does the big ones just like He cares for the weeds of the field as much as the beautiful wisteria on the vine. Thanks be to God for hearing it all and being there for it all.  From weeds to wildflowers He is there.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

My Christmas Wish

      With a few days standing between me and Christmas I have found myself busy with all the "adult" tasks that one would need to complete before the actual festivities begin.  I have purchased, wrapped, baked, attended class parties and last I finally decided to clean.  Today as I vacuumed my eyes glanced first to my daughter; sitting indian style in the floor working a puzzle.  I smiled as I watched her little eyes gaze around searching for her next perfect piece.  I felt pride as I watched her find piece after piece and eventually complete her puzzle.  God, please help me remember.

      I vacuumed several other areas and eventually ended up in my room.  There my son laid on the floor, barefoot, two little matchbox cars in his hands. He rolled the cars back and forth, talking to the cars as he pushed them.  He heard the vacuum and looked up to meet my eyes; we both smiled.  God, please help me remember.

     As everyone has warned, the older my kids get the faster this life is going.   I really do try to drink it all in.  The tender, sweet moments and the moments of discipline. The good and the not so good.  The days when they are healthy and full of energy and the days where they need to lay on me and get well.  God, please help me remember.

    Today my two year old asked "Mommy, what Santa bring you?"  I laughed and told him once you are married Santa doesn't come anymore.  Not even sure he understood what my answer meant.  Today I have caught myself asking "what would you want if you could have anything?"  And today as I vacuumed my answer was clear as a bell...God, help me remember.

     This phase of life it is busy.  This phase is full of joy and pain.  This phase is tiring.  This phase is more fulfilling than I ever dreamed.  This phase is full of guilt.  This phase is full of these little people teaching me BIG Christ like lessons.  This phase makes me want to be the best I can be.  This phase makes me yearn for their bedtime to hurry up; then come downstairs only to miss them.  This phase is full of all the feels.

    More than anything I just want to remember it all.  God, help me remember.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Squeezing Tightly

               In June a new workout place, called Pure Barre, opened here in Jackson.  I have heard things about this franchise for years and always hoped that Jackson would get one.  When I heard the news that Jackson was getting one I could not get signed up fast enough.  It is much different than the running or interval training I normally do.  The classes last 55 minutes and they are HARD!!  Just when I think that I can master something I find that they change everything up.  It is addictive, challenging and most importantly IT WORKS! My strength and stamina have improved immensely and I truly look forward to my classes!!

               The reason I bring up Pure Barre is because in every class we do thigh work. We do all kinds of things but sometimes our instructor will tell us to zip our legs together so tight that "even a $100 dollar bill" couldn't slip through.  Everytime I look down at my thighs, squeezing them so tightly and picturing a $100 bill. My mind is constantly wandering and recently after class I was thinking to myself "what are some other things that are important that I would want to hold on tight enough to so that it wouldn't slip through my grasp?" Many things came to mind...My debit card, my car keys, my wedding band.  As my mind wandered the things got more personal and more real.


               I went from thinking of things I would hate to lose and drifted to relationships, to people that I love.   I thought of my kids and then the stabbing pain hit my heart...they painful reminder that they are mine for a short time.  No matter how hard I squeeze, no matter how hard i hold on these days of children at home are zipping by.  As all of us moms already know; these days are hard but gosh they are such a gift.  I am reminded that though I can squeeze with all my might, each day is another day older and another day closer to them leaving my nest and becoming their own adult self.

              So today I will hug them a little longer, I will let them see me do something for someone that cannot repay me, I will read them one more story, I will tell them how deep & wide & vast the Lord's love for them is, I will let them help me cook even though it will make a huge mess, I will teach them to love EVERYONE without restraint, I will pray in front of them & with them and I will tell them of the wonderful things that the Lord has done and is doing in my life and in the lives of those I love.   And even though I know it won't work, I will keep squeezing tightly.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Her Village

             I recently read a post from a fellow mom friend.  It read

"I am in need of encouragement.  I don't need or want advice, just encouragement. Between a strong willed, potty training toddler,  a new baby & a husband out of town with work I am just struggling.  If some of you can just encourage me and tell me that I can do this.  I just need encouragement that I can make it through the rest of this day..."


         As I read her words I felt the vulnerability in her words, I pictured tears rolling down her face as she typed, I saw her sitting on her bathroom floor with the door shut trying to hide herself for just a few seconds.  She had probably considered typing those words before but was worried of being judged for needing/soliciting encouragement.  But the time had come, she had reached a point that she was more than ok to admit that she needed her village.  And boy did her village show up!


         Much like a line to a new release movie, was the line of mom's and friends writing the most beautiful, encouraging words.  Mom's confirming that they had been in her very place and now several years later were living proof that she would make it through, mom's offering to keep her kids for a couple of hours so that she could shower and have some time to herself.  She had friends that said they might not be a mom but they wanted to share verses that had been just the encouragement they needed on days that felt impossible.  This mom who a couple hours before had been on the brink of throwing in her towel was suddenly being flooded with her village.  They were filling her up emotionally, spiritually and physically.

        In a world where Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook exist it is so easy to see pictures of people's good days and hold them up beside our bad days.  In a world where everyone has an answer and a solution it is so easy to feel as though you are the only one failing at this mom thing.  In a world where it doesn't seem you could ever take to social media to post about your REAL struggles...the post is there.  A vulnerable friend who puts her insecurities aside and asks for help.  And as warm as her cup of coffee is to her lips so are the words of her dearest friends.  Much like a small village that has to work together to survive she finds her village of friends lining up with encouraging word after sweet encouraging word.  She smiles and picks herself up off of her bathroom floor and she KNOWS that she can finish today.

       May we all be transparent vessels that share our struggles with our village, for we were never meant to bear our struggles alone. May we all be encouraging to the friends in our village.  In a world where it is so easy to tear each other down let us do what feels good and build each other up! May we all work together to have a successful village where I am weak, you are strong.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Sowing Seeds

           Here at our house we are incredibly SAD to see summer go.  We will miss the long hours of daylight, my babies being home everyday, swimming everyday, eating our meals outside and just the joy that summertime brings.  With each school year that begins it is a sharp painful reminder that my kids are another year older.  Every summer seems a little shorter and my kids seem to get bigger, faster with each passing year.  The hustle and bustle of daytime activities and chores keep my mind busy but at night when my kids are tucked in,  and lunches for the next day are made, I find myself wondering, questioning if I am doing enough?

          I hope and pray that everyday I am sowing seeds in my kids garden of life.  Seeds to equip them with confidence to stand up in what they believe in, seeds that trigger their little souls to help others...especially the ones that can't repay you.  Seeds of empathy for the trials that others are facing.  Seeds of faith to know that even when they can't see ahead that God is already there.  Seeds of hunger to yearn for more of a life like Jesus and in Jesus.

         The older my kids get the more and more time they will have outside of my nest.  The more time they will be away from this mamma's watchful eye.  I know that the seeds that are planted inside of their garden now are seeds that will remain with them always. I know that every decision I make, every move I make is being seen by little eyes and heard by little ears.  It is in my actions and in my words that the seeds are sown in my kids.


        " May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You my rock and my Lord "   Psalms 19:14 and may my actions be the type of actions that honor God.  My hope and prayer is that I can be an example to my children.

       


       

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Summer Salads


It is HOT! There is nothing more refreshing this summer than a delicious salad full of fresh fruit or vegetables. I wanted to share a few recipes that I have made several times this summer.  Everytime I eat them my mouth is left wanting more. 

Cantaloupe Proscuitto Salad

 
Ingredients:
1 cantaloupe, diced
1/2 lb Proscuitto, cook in skillet until crispy
1/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled
3-4 mint leaves, diced 

Mix together cantaloupe, Proscuitto, feta and then garnish with the mint. Delish and easy! 


SWEET & SPICY SALAD

Ingredients:
3-4 peaches, diced
3-4 strawberries, diced 
1/3 red onion, diced
1 jalepeno, seeds removed & diced
1/3 cup of feta cheese, crumbled
3 leaves of mint, chopped

Combine all ingredients and then garnish with mint. 

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Daddy Dearest

           In the very first days they discovered the safety he provided.  From the very beginning they found a sense of calm when he cradled them in his arms.  As they grew they would smile when they saw him, they would turn their heads to look for him when they heard his voice.  As the years have passed they have cried out to him when they were hurt or yelled for him when they saw a bug that needed to be killed.  He is their dad and he has always provided safety. 

          He works hard for his family.  On days when he is under the weather, on days when their little hands are wrapped around his legs begging "please don't leave", on days when it is gorgeous out and it sure would be nice to skip work; even then he works.  When he comes home from the office his work isn't done.  He mows the lawn, builds pretend forts and throws the kids 'as high as the sky.' His back is tired, he would love nothing more than to sit but the smile they wear when he plays with them means far more than a tired back.  He is their dad and his job is never done. 

         He loves the Lord and more than anything else he wants to show His kids this love.  He wants his children to find that same love for the Lord.  He goes to church, he prays in front of his kids, and he tells them bible stories.  He is involved in ministries at church, he practices what he preaches, and he gives of himself and his possession's to those who have a need.  He is their dad and he shows them Jesus everyday through his very own actions. 

        Dad's you are special! We don't tell you enough just how important you are.  Thank you for the safety, sacrifices and love that you show us! You have such an important job.  Your sons will grow to be just like you, so live life well.  Your daughters will marry someone much like you, so live life well.  Remember the little eyes in your house.  You are their hero and those little eyes are watching not just what you say but how you live life. 

       Happy Father's Day to all the Wonderful dads out there!! This weekend let's take time to tell our dad's that we love them and how much they mean to us.  Let's also take time to pray for them.  Let's pray for them to be strong spiritual leaders!! Thanks be to God for the blessing of DAD'S!!!