Babbling Brooke

Babbling Brooke

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Let it Be Christmas

     How many of you have heard about these Mystery Santa's on the news these last few weeks. These "santa's" are men and women who are truly good samaritan's. These people are scattered all throughout the United States and they are going into local department stores and paying off people's layaways. I have seen many interviews from different people who have gotten a phone call saying that their layaway had been paid for them to come and redeem their items. I watched a mom cry telling how her family has 2 cars in the shop, money has been so tight and such a burden has been lifted off of her shoulders.


      It isn't just huge monetary gifts that have impressed me. I read a friend's facebook status saying that her and her husband drove through a fast food drive thru and when they got to the window to pay the lady said that the person in front of them had paid for their meal. A complete stranger bought their meal! Wow! So in turn her and her husband paid for the meal of the person behind them.

   These stories of good people could go on and on! It is so nice to hear of these stories when sometimes we feel so bombarded by the negativity of this world. It is encouraging to know that people have good hearts and want to see good things come to others.

    I am also reminded of my "layaway" that was paid. See without Jesus being born and dying for me I would be like the mom with 2 cars in the shop and no way to provide for my family. I would be a lost cause. The layaway that Jesus paid for us is SO much greater than any materialistic things of this world! Thanks be to God! May we all remember that He is the Reason for the Season and pass His love to all that we encounter!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Priorities

         In the last few weeks I have began my Christmas shopping. It is different this year because most of the time I have a little 5 month old tagging along.  The process takes a little longer this year because we stop for bottle breaks or wrecking into racks with the stroller :). One thing that has not changed this year is my ability to find something for myself that I just HAVE to HAVE. I mean seriously I can be at Gander Mountain or The Great Outdoor Store and find something that has "Brooke" written all over it.


          I was in Marshall's one day over these last few weeks and I found something for myself that I absolutely loved. The good voice inside my head reminded me that this is Christmas time and that I am to be buying for others not myself. Reluctantly I hung the item back on the rack and resumed my quest to find the perfect gifts for the one's I love. The bad voice inside my head continued to tell me how much I needed the sweater, how cute it would be at holiday party's, how it is soooo one of a kind...yada, yada, yada. I tried my best to ignore that bad voice. I bought gifts for others and left the sweater for me hanging on the rack. As I walked out of the store I could almost hear that sweater crying out to me "you know you want me!"

       The next day while driving in my car I thought about the sweater. (Now if you don't have a passion for shopping you may not understand this but for me this is perfectly normal. There are plenty of times that I pass an item by and still days after I find myself thinking of the item wishing that I had bought it).  After thinking of the sweater my very next thought was a painful thought. I wondered to myself when is the last time I thought this much over God? When is the last time I couldn't get enough of His word? When is the last time I couldn't stop praying to Him? Painfully I answered myself with a shameful answer...I can't remember the last time.

   It is so embarrassing that I have thought for 72 hours over a 30 dollar sweater that A) I could afford and B) I have a million more hanging in my closet. It is so embarrassing that I couldn't recall the last time I spent as much time thinking about my relationship with God as I do picking out my outfit for the day. I have been challenged to spend more time with God and less time with the superficial things of this world. I pray that over the hustle and bustle of this holiday season we all STOP and just thank God for who He is and what He has done for all of us. May we all reevaluate our priorities. I am thankful to God and the love and compassion that He provides even when I give more thought to a sweater than to Him.

Monday, November 7, 2011

It Happened

     It happened...after 54 years of marriage, 3 girls, 10 grandchildren and a life long relationship with Christ she went to paradise. It is the first time in my life I have lost someone I was really close to. So far I have thought about her everyday, I have said a prayer for my mom everyday and I have been sad for my papa everyday. I say I have thought of my Nana everyday but not in the way you might imagine. Yes, I have missed her but that is not the thoughts that I have had. Instead it has been the thoughts of what is she doing? Does she see people that have died before her? These thoughts are the one's that reside inside of me. I miss her so much and if I think about how much I miss her I start to feel like I have been punched in the stomach.


      More than my own grief and pain, I hurt for my papa. They had the type of marriage that Brian and I strive for. They were best friends, partners, teammates and they loved God more than each other. I hurt for my mom. She and my Nana had a special relationship. They confided in each other, laughed with each other and were more than mother/daughter they were best friends.

      I remember thinking after the funeral; What Now? We have known for some time that my Nana wasn't getting better and we knew that death would be in her near future but it isn't real until it happens. Driving back from Mckenzie that day I knew what to do from this point on. I knew that I wanted to live my life in a way that would please her. I want to teach Meritt the things that my Nana taught me.

    It is so sad and so unbelievably hard to let go of someone that we love so much. There are so many things that can come from something as emotional and sad as this. We can be bitter, we can be reclusive or we can live in a way that would make the person we love and miss so proud.

Monday, October 17, 2011

For You Are Good

         Yesterday at church we were singing a song and we got to a verse and this is what it said "for you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me..." as I sang these words I caught a glimpse of one of the strongest women that I know. As I looked at her she was singing these words and the tears began to stream down my face.


         I was in awe that a woman who has been through so many trials was standing, head held high and singing the words "for you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me..." As a young mother she went through a divorce, she later met the love of her life and he put his heart and soul into loving her and helping her to raise her son. Many years later she was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. The outlook was bad, death was the expected outcome. If you know this lady it is no surprise that she fought the battle and won. The battle of cancer was one of the hardest I've heard about but her relationship with God and the love from her husband helped her to fight the cancer and win. This by the way was a surprise to her doctors and to those that knew just how bad the cancer was.

        Then this summer it was a normal Sunday morning she was going to walk with her neighbor and then get dressed for church just as she did most Sunday mornings. She walked to her husbands side of the bed to wake him and her heart sank. He had passed away in his sleep. He was too young for this, she was too young for this, they had just talked and laughed right before they went to bed. Once again devastation. It is now October and every time I look at her I see pure sadness in her eyes. I cry for her and pray for her often.

      Sunday I sang the words "for you are good, for you are good, for you are good to me..." and cried as I saw Alicia Brown singing these same words. I cried because those words come a little easier for me. I was sitting in the pew with my husband. I cried because I am not sure that I have her strength. Don't get me wrong there is not a day that goes by that she doesn't long for Ron to hold her and there probably has not been a night since he died that she has slept through the night. But she has a strength about her that only comes from God and even though she doesn't understand why she has faced so many battles and others around her have faced so little she continues to love the Lord and sing to Him. Thank you Alicia for your strength! Thank you for loving God even in this storm! You are truly teaching all of us as you weather this chapter of life! I love you!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM

       Last night I read an essay that one of my cousin's wrote for a college English class. She wrote the essay about my Nana. My Nana has been in hospice care for about 2 months now. When she started receiving hospice care they told us that the outlook was grim and that she might only have 6 days left on earth. Here two months later the reports are still very grim and it is one of those things that only God knows the time and day. So until she goes to Heaven we twinge every time the phone rings. My mom and her sister have truly worn themselves out doing everything they can to help my papa out. The emotional toil that it takes to watch your parent die is more than I ever imagined.  Brian's family went through the same thing with his grandad but it was during the first couple of weeks of Meritt's birth so those weeks are truly a blur for me.

      After reading the essay last night I sat on the couch with tears streaming down my face. Meritt was asleep in my arms and I rubbed her head and prayed that I enjoy every moment that I get with her because the essay was a reminder of just how short this life is. My cousin shared lots of memories of my Nana. As I read these memories they all came flooding back and it seemed like it was just yesterday that we were eating Sunday lunch at her house, or listening to her laugh at my dad and uncle Chris. It was so shocking to think that not that long ago my Nana was healthy and able to do as she pleased. I was struck with pain at the thought of how quickly time passes by.

     I am blessed to talk to my mom on the phone everyday. Many days we talk multiple times. I remember that not that long ago my mom and Nana talked on the phone everyday. I can't imagine the void my mom feels by not talking to her mother everyday. Again I am struck with pain at how quickly things change and how quickly time passes.

     My little Meritt can roll over, laugh out loud, sleep through the night, and follow me with her eyes and face as I walk through a room. I am ecstatic over all of these milestones and yet at the same time I get sad at how fast she is growing. These past four months have swished by me and while this reminder isn't so painful it is still a reminder of how quickly time passes by.

      I am so so thankful for the relationships in my life! So thankful for the blessing of family and for the gift of love. It is so sad to see the people we love the most suffer and it is so difficult to say goodbye. I am reminded everyday of just how precious life is and how quickly it goes. I pray that we all say extra "thank yous" for our blessings and that we savor this life more and more everyday!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

DRENCHED

          What kind of person are you when it comes to entering the pool or a hot tub? Are you a dip your big toe in slowly, ease your ankles in and so on until finally you are shoulder deep?  Are you the kind that has the "go big or go home" philosophy, you plunge in all at once allowing your entire body to experience the water and its temperatures all at once? or Are you the person that avoids the water all together, I mean who wants to get all wet anyway?


       Sunday at church we were given a charge. A charge to use the gifts God has given us. To not hesitate but instead to JUMP all in and use our gifts and be showered with the blessings that come from using those gifts. Jeff asked at this point in our lives how are we using our gifts. Are we using them just a little, enough to be able to say "yes I use my gifts" but not using them enough to where they interrupt our everyday lives. Are we burying our gifts and not using them at all. Sort of the philosophy "life is great as it is, why use gifts and get tied up with other people's problems." Or are you using your gifts to the fullest allowing God to work through you and use you to strengthen the Kingdom. 

       My parents and Brian's parents have pools in their backyards. I have always been the type to approach the pool stick my toe in, ease down the first step wetting my ankles and gradually, very very gradually slipping my entire body into the pool. I have always made sure that my body was comfortable and gone at my own controlled pace into the water.

    This is also very true of how I use my spiritual gifts. I have always been open to using my gifts just as I have been open to getting into the pool. It is just that I have used my gifts on my time table and with me in as much control as possible. I have used my gifts at a pace to where they don't interrupt my comfortable life. It was Sunday when I realized that trusting God, and showing God the love that He deserves means that I jump all in! To use my spiritual gifts to their ultimate potential. I am so thankful for the gifts that God has blessed me with. It is important that we know that God blesses us all with spiritual gifts. We can choose to use them and grow them into even more or we can bury them and watch them disappear. May we all trust God enough to Jump all in!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Unmeasurable

      Over the last 12 weeks there have been several people that have asked when I was going to write a blog about Meritt. Everytime my answer has been the same...The love that I have, the experiences that have came are all so overwhelming that I can't begin to put it into words. Now I know as she grows there will be cute little stories that result in life lessons that will be fun to share but as for a blog about Meritt in general, well I don't know where to start and I don't know where to end. I will share a revelation that came to me in the car the other day.


       My therapy is writing.  Since Meritt has been born it has been on my mind and heart to write of her. To write of the overwhelming love and emotions that overtook Brian and I when we looked at her for the first time. Everytime I begin to write of this I am so overwhelmed with my love for her that I cannot put it into words. I find myself sitting in front of a blank screen wondering where I should begin the blog and 10 minutes later the screen is still blank so I shut the computer and leave the entry for another day. 

       A couple of days ago I was driving in my car thinking of this very thing when a thought came to me. My whole life I have been told that the love that God has for us is so grand that there is no way to possibly grasp it. The love that He has for us is unmeasurable. I couldn't help but think that while the love that I have for Meritt is so big that it can't be described; God's love for us is even bigger. It is even better than the love that I have for this precious girl. It is so funny that in the last 12 weeks my thoughts have been totally transformed. When Meritt is with us we are constantly taking care of her and giving her all the attention that a newborn needs (it is ALOT). Then when she is away the thought of her consumes my mind. Brian's parents and mine have babysat her several times and I trust them both more than they know. It is not the thoughts of if she's ok instead it is the thoughts of just how much I love her. I find myself praying multiple times a day just a simple prayer of thanksgiving for the blessing of Meritt. As you read this I am sure you get my point. She consumes my mind and she takes up a very large part of my heart.

     I am humbled and overwhelmed to know that God loves us even more than that. I am thankful that God's love stretches farther than any number we can count, higher than any distance we can go, and longer than any ocean or land. Thanks be to God for His unmeasureable love!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Plaid Settee Sofa

        It is the size of a loveseat but much nicer than a loveseat. It is made of silk, the edges of the skirt are scalloped and it has wonderful colors that make a plaid pattern. This settee has many stories to tell and to this day it is one of the most special pieces of furniture that I own. The first story that the settee can tell is this...my mom and I were in a small french furniture shop when we spotted the settee. I was very young so it was a loveseat to me with very little meaning. To my mom this was the perfect piece of furniture and she knew the very spot she wanted to place it in her home. She looked at it for sometime asked a few questions to the clerk and then we left. She called my dad at work to tell him how she found the perfect piece of furniture and that she loved it. My mom and I spent the rest of the afternoon running errands and when we got home I remember being astonished...the settee was sitting in our den. My dad had gone out that very day and purchased that settee and surprised my mother and me.

    The next story this settee tells is of living with my nana and papa. Several years ago my grandparents decided to add onto their home and build a sunroom. They were looking for furnishings for the sunroom and my mom gave them the settee. Soon after the sunroom was built my nana got diagnosed with parkinson's disease and began a downward spiral with her health. My nana who has always been such an energetic spirit suddenly had to lay down alot. This settee was where I saw her lay many times. Two years ago July 29th my nana had a stroke. The stroke affected her health more than any of us could've imagined. Because of her decline in health my grandparents moved to an assisted living home. My grandparents had to do some serious downsizing to fit into their now two bedroom apartment at the assisted living complex. This is where the third story comes into play.

     The third story is of Brian and I getting the settee. When my grandparents downsized we acquired the settee. It now sits in our master bedroom under a large window. It was here in the room when Meritt came home for the first time, it has let Meritt and myself lay down and rest after a night of little rest and it is always happy to let my dirty clothes lay on it :)

      A simple piece of furniture but it is a piece that brings back so many special memories. There are happy stories and sad stories I am so thankful for the memories that it brings. I hope that you all can look back and remember something as simple as a piece of furniture and let memories pour in.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

No Regrets

           With a little baby here at home it has been lots harder to update this blog. She is napping now and I am going to write...


         Have you ever had an opportunity to tell someone how you feel but instead of taking advantage of that moment you watched as it passed you by? Yesterday on the news they shared a story of how a troop from Afghanistan made a youtube video asking a famous actress to be his date to the annual military ball in North Carolina. The video was shown to the actress and she was touched and much to the trooper's surprise she agreed to be his date. I guarantee that he has no regrets for making the video. Now if he had thought about making the video and then never actually done it he would probably be full of regret.


      Over the fourth of July weekend we received news that Brian's grandad had taken a turn for the worse. The doctors were predicting he had 48 hours to live. Brian's parents were in Colorado when they got the news. Since they had their camper and truck they had no choice but to drive back to Tennessee. During the days that they traveled back Brian would go and visit his grandad in the ICU and tell him how far they were how much they loved him and then he would report back to his parents how his grandad was doing.  On Friday night his grandad was doing pretty bad but he was still able to make eye contact, shake his head yes or no and he could squeeze your hand. Brian waited until everyone else had exited the room before he shared his heart with his grandad. He told his grandad how wonderful Meritt is and how sorry he was that his grandad wouldn't get the chance to meet her, he told his grandad how much his parents loved him and how much he loved him. He also told his grandad that whenever he was ready to go because when his eyes closed he would hear the words that we all long to hear when we die "Well Done My Good and Faithful Servant" he told his grandad that he had lived a good life and that he had served his family and God so well. He promised his grandad that his grandmother would be taken care of. During this talk Brian had tears rolling down his face and his grandad squeezed his hand and fixed his eyes on Brian. No Regrets.

    Sometimes it is so difficult to dig deep and to share those raw thoughts. It is so hard because we might cry, the person might not like what we have to say but you have to ask yourself...will I regret never sharing how I feel. So many leave this earth suddenly and we don't have some time to prepare ourselves and to say the things that we are feeling. That is why we should share how we feel everyday.

   May we all live lives purely and full of No Regrets.

P.S.  Meritt is pretty great and I want to do a blog about her soon :)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

So Hard to Say Goodbye

         For those of you that don't know Jeff and Ashley Brown they are the pastor and pastor's wife at our church. They are a young couple with the world at their fingertips. Up until 6 months ago they were able to go on a date night whenever they wanted, pick up and go for a weekend getaway whenever the urge hit them and besides caring for themselves they really only were responsible for their 2 dogs. That however was a little over 6 months ago. These past 6 months have been quite the opposite. They have been foster parents to two kids that are around 10 and 3 years old. These two kids have lived in lots of homes in a very short period of time and they have been dealt a card in life that is much harder than most.


        Since the children have moved in with Jeff and Ashley their lives have all changed. Jeff and Ashley suddenly had 2 kids that needed love and attention. They have given up date nights, weekend getaways and nights lounging on their couch watching their favorite tv shows. Instead it has all been replaced by caring for two kids who have never experienced the love and attention that most of us have been blessed with knowing. A 10 year old boy with no emotion, no excitement a wall has been built so that he doesn't have to be hurt anymore. When opening Christmas gifts at Jeff and Ashley's he showed no expression, said nothing and he was opening some really cool gifts! At a recent church league game Jeff came off the court when it was over and was greated by 3 year old Jaliegh she ran with her arms open wide yelling "DADDY" and Jeff said "well hey there beautiful." In that moment I was struck with a thought; I wondered if she has ever been called beautiful or told she was beautiful before living with the Brown's.

    As an outsider I have watched two children be transformed. I have witnessed them open their hearts and personalities because they were being built up and loved by the Brown's. I have also seen Jeff and Ashley give up their free time to love some children that otherwise would get no love. It hasn't all been fun either, they have patiently dealt with temper tantrums, cleaned up messes, and gone to multiple court hearings. I have seen Jeff and Ashley be transformed and fall in love with these two kids and this past Sunday at church when I saw Jeff and Ashley with the kids I couldn't help but tear up knowing that June 1st will be much harder on them than any of us can begin to imagine.

    A judge ruled that on June 1st the kids will move out of state to permanently reside with an aunt and uncle. This is good because they have an older sibling that they will be able to be reunited with. It is sad because Jeff and Ashley have an undeniable bond with these kids and it is going to be so so hard to say goodbye. My prayer for the kids is that no matter how old or how far they go they will never forget the love that the Brown's have for them and the love that our Heavenly Father has for them. I pray that the Brown's will have a peace during this transition and that even though it is going to be very hard I pray God will bless them with a comfort that can only come from Him.

   Please join me in praying for Jeff, Ashley and the kids. I also pray that God will create all of our hearts to be more like Jeff and Ashley's. I pray that we will all have hearts that long to serve God more than serving ourselves. Thanks to the Brown's for the lessons that you have taught so many!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Our Prayer for Meritt

"May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.  Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." Ephesians 3:19



       We have searched, talked and prayed for a verse that we wanted to be our prayer for Meritt. A verse that has words much wiser than anything we could write, something we could pray over her long before she herself ever learns to read.  We have found many verses that pricked our hearts both for her and for us as her parents. We discovered that Proverbs has all kinds of wonderful wisdom for parents and there have been many other powerful verses that touched us more than we might have thought.  It was when we came upon this verse, Ephesians 3:19 that we knew this was the verse that we wanted to pray over our daughter for the rest of our days.

      I have been touched by knowing how blessed Meritt is to be born into a family that cannot wait to teach her the love that Christ has. It is humbling to think that there are children in this world tonight that do not know the love of Christ. It breaks my heart to think of the void that is within so many that have never met or will never know the love of Christ.

     21 days left in this pregnancy and we have spent so much time getting prepared. Decorating the nursery, washing all of Meritt's clothes and reading up on as many baby books as possible . We have prayed for Meritt everyday, we have prayed that our marriage will not falter, that our faith will not waiver during this new phase in our life.  The preperations are almost complete, it will soon be "go-time" it will be our time to learn, love and most of all get to teach this being the love of Christ!

   Thanks be to God for the gift of His love! Thanks be to God for entrusting us with this little Meritt Grace! We are so honored to be her Mom and Dad and we will continue to pray for her and do our best to show her the love that God has for her. Our prayer is that Meritt will grow with a desire in her own heart to share the love of Christ with all that she meets!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Lord for Your Glory

             Ever since we opened our office in 2009 we have had the same UPS delivery driver. He comes in almost everyday at about 1pm to make a delivery. At first it was a simple "Hi/Bye" conversation between the two of us but since then we have talked more about his kids, about my pregnancy, where he goes to church, where I go to church, etc. Yesterday he came in and I asked him if he was tired from Tuesday night's storms and he shared a story with me...A few years ago when the tornado hit Union University he was in Union's parking lot fixing to make a delivery. He looked up saw how bad it was and started to get out of his truck to run into married housing. Before he could make it out of his truck the tornado picked up his truck slamming it down on its nose then picked it up a second time and spun it around and slammed it on its nose again. His elbows and back went through the windshield. He said then everything was quiet and dark. The next noise he would hear were the ambulance, police and firetruck sirens approaching Union's campus. He walked away completely ok. He told me he didn't know why God chose to save Him but from that moment he knew that he would share this story to give God the glory in hopes of growing His Kingdom.

         I was touched by his story, amazed that he walked away ok, and astonished that he still drives a UPS truck ( I think I would be traumatized to ever get in one again) ha! The words he said made me think...do I use the blessings that God so generously pours out on me for His Glory? The success of our business, the happy marriage that I am apart of, this baby that is coming so soon, the healing of my dad, as you can see this list is endless. My blessings or stories may not be as intriguing and exciting as the UPS drivers but they are real and they have been poured out on me even though I don't deserve them.

         My prayer this morning has been to use it all, to use the exciting stories, to use the ever so small, to use the astonishing, to use all the blessings that have been given to me for God's Glory.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

13

                13 years ago alot happened. I started highschool, my brothers 4-wheeler got stolen (they were devestated), the movie THE TITANIC came out, I knew then that I would be going to college at Pepperdine in Malibu, CA (didn't happen), I got a phone call that changed my life, and I kissed a boy that turned my world upside down. 13 years ago...1998 it seems like a world away and then it seems as if it were only yesterday.



              On March 27, 1998 my parents yelled upstairs "Brooke you have a phone call." On the other end of that phone was a boy, Brian Pearson. We had talked a couple of times at school but really not a whole lot. As I talked to him that night my stomach was doing dances and to think today that we have a baby inside my stomach doing dances...who would have thought? This past Sunday was March 27 and as I wrote my check out at church and dated it I realized it has been 13 years. Wow!


            On April 4, 1998 we went to see THE TITANIC it was our first date the movie lasted 3 hours and everyone talked about how long it was but me I was wishing it would've lasted a little longer. He was the highschool quarterback, played basketball, baseball everyone in highschool knew him. I couldn't believe that he was interested in me.

          I remember our 1st kiss was at Ashley Warren's parents house in the playroom. It was my first kiss and it was wet and sloppy and nothing like I thought. Since then our kisses have vastly improved but to this day I remember that kiss as if it happened last night.

     I can remember praying to God asking Him to please let me marry Brian Pearson. We had some bumps along the way but in the end we did marry and I can't say thank you to God enough. Thank you for the blessing of a husband that is a true spiritual leader, thank  you for letting me marry my best friend and thank you for now expanding our family.

     13...thankful for 13 years with my best friend and love of my life!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Blessings, Gifts and Talents!

      She has been blessed with many talents but most would argue that cooking is the best of these. She doesn't reserve her talents for herself instead she shares with everyone and anyone who is hurting or anyone that she loves.  When my dad was hospitalized for a month she brought multiple wonderful meals to my parents and get this...every single day she brought fresh coffee to the hospital. She doesn't do this because she has more free time than you or me, she doesn't do this to receive something in return. She does this because she is thankful for the gifts that God has blessed her with and the way she says thank you, the way that Jesus lives through her is by the sharing of her talents.

     A couple of weeks ago I was at home sick with a viral infection I got an inbox message on facebook saying "I am bringing miracle soup to your house I will leave it on the front porch."  The soup tasted awesome (especially to my sore throat) but the miracle wasn't in the soup itself. The miracle was in the hands that prepared it, the serving heart that brought it by out of the blue.


      Her name is Margaret Morrison and if you know her you have probably tasted some wonderful delicacy that she has made. Either a cake ball, soup, her salmon...truly this list is endless. I have loved everything she has made but even more than the taste I have loved the reminder that she gives to me and to so many others. The reminder to be thankful for the gifts and talents that we have been blessed with and to use them to the Glory of God and to bless others. Thank you Margaret for the willingness to bless others with your talents!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Depth's of His Love

      For anyone that knows Brian at all one thing that can be said without argument is that he Hates to go shopping. If given a choice he would choose almost anything over shopping. That is why this weekend was so surprising and sweet to me. This past weekend we went to Chicago for the mid-winter dental meeting. Brian had classes to take on Friday and Saturday so Thursday was just a fun day for the two of us. After we ate lunch we went for a little shopping. We went into a department store and as soon as we walked in we were greeted with a very large shoe department. This of course stopped me in my tracks and I stayed occupied in this department for the next 30 or so minutes. When I got done in shoes I noticed that Brian had wandered off so I went to look for him. I figured I would find him sitting in a chair playing on his phone but I was wrong. I found him in the baby girls department with several outfits that he had found for our little girl. I almost started crying on spot...partly out of shock, partly out of messed up hormones, and partly b/c I thought maybe someone had stolen my husband and switched bodies with him. When he looked up at me he grinned and said "Come here I want your opinion on these" I am telling you now it wouldn't have mattered if it were the ugliest outfit in the world at this point because the gesture was so genuine and so sweet.


      While walking to dinner that night I still had a grin on my face. I was smiling because I couldn't help but think how lucky this little girl is to have a father that loves her so much he would do the thing he hates the most to show his love for her. Then I was struck with an even more powerful thought...the love Brian has for this girl it can be described by stories like this or by sweet things that he says but the love that our Heavenly Father has for this little girl and for you and for me...well that love is so Big, it is so Deep that the smartest of minds cannot begin to comprehend the depths. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that's love runs so deep I cannot see where it begins or where it ends. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that loves me just as I am. His love is Big, it is Merciful, it is Deep and I pray that I will appreciate the love that my Heavenly Father has for me a little more everyday.

Monday, February 21, 2011

A Lesson From Cookie

     Her name is Cookie. She stands tall at 4ft11inches. She wears a cap on her unkept head of hair and she always wears the same pink Tinkerbell sweatshirt. Her pants are too long and they are rolled up 4 or 5 times. When she smiles her teeth are far from perfect. Some teeth are missing and most are crooked. But when she smiles it is the most contagious smile. You can't help but smile back at her. She can be found at the Rifa Soup Kitchen on any given day eating lunch and talking to the others that frequent there. Everyday they have a devotional before lunch and it is optional for anyone interested in attending. She never misses a devotional. After she eats her meal she always sticks around to help sweep the floors or wipe down tables. This is her way of saying "thanks" for the meal. 

   A few weeks ago I was working at the soup kitchen and I got there early enough to attend the devotional. I was so touched to hear a testimony from a man who eats there often. I got to hear  others tell of things they were struggling with and ask for prayers. We were all able to pray together and this was truly such an uplifting boost to my day. At the end of the devotional Cookie walked up to the podium (which was as tall as her) and she began to sing the most beautiful song. The voice that came from this petite woman was truly incredible. I had chills and I was convicted. Before this day I had always viewed Cookie as a woman small in stature, unemployed, unkept. I let my human eyes take over and on this day I was able to see a glimpse of Cookie the way God sees her. Beautiful, Radiant, and she has a HUGE job...a job to minister and witness to the people that she encounters everyday.

   I left the soup kitchen that day feeling guilty for the judgement I had passed on this lady. I am reminded once again today that God uses all people and he doesn't view beauty or importance the way that I do. I am humbled by this lesson and I pray that everyday I will open my eyes more to see like Jesus sees and to love like Jesus loves.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Prayerful Marriage

      When Brian and I were engaged we took a class called His Needs, Her Needs. We walked away from this class with tons of lessons and ideas that we wanted to implement in our own marriage. One of the biggest things that this class reiterates over and over is prayer time together as a couple. Several times while dating we prayed together but it was sporadic at best. During this class we committed to each other to do this together as often as we could.

       Praying together brought on a new level of intimacy, it allowed me to know Brian and Brian to know me in a way that we hadn't in the 7 years we dated. It gave me a confidence in our relationship that I really cannot describe. As life went on we got married, lived in Memphis, I worked 60 hours a week and Brian was studying when he wasn't in school. The time that we made for each other was less about prayer and more about date nights, time with friends and so on. We prayed on occasion with each other especially if we had a big decision but for the most part my prayers were mine and Brian's prayers were his. We moved to Jackson almost 2 years ago and shortly after my dad got sick. This definitely brought us to our knees. We found each other praying together, crying out together for healing for understanding and at this time I felt that we as a unit were closer to God.

       Since then we have kept the routine of praying together as a couple. Prayers of rejoicing, concerns and just to proclaim the love that we share for our heavenly Father. During our time of prayer we have prayed concerns that we might not otherwise talk about, we thank God for things that we thought the other didn't even notice. I have gotten to hear my husband pray the most precious prayers for this unborn little girl and I can promise you that prayer never gets old.

      I say all this to say that date nights, quality time, communication they are all so important in a marriage but I am here saying that our marriage is at its best when we are praying to our heavenly Father together. It is a definite positive and I am so thankful that we were taught at a young age how wonderful it is.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

In the Blink of an Eye

        It was one year ago today. Our good friends, Nick and Kristin, got a phone call that forever changed their lives. It was a phone call that has burned February 3rd in their hearts for the rest of their days. One minute it was their usual Wednesday, Nick at work and Kristin at school and in the blink of an eye their world was rocked and the days to follow would be the hardest of their entire life.

      I was here at work when Kristin called to tell me the horrific news. Nick's brother, Matthew, was stationed in Germany and while doing a practice run in a helicopter he and 2 other soldiers were killed. The helicopter had crashed and just a few hours later those that loved Matthew the most experienced a crash of their own. True devastation, true heartbreak  and true confusion.

   There is a facebook page dedicated to Matthew's memory and yesterday his mother wrote this "Thursday, Feb.3, Matt will be gone a year. How can that be, it seems like it just happened today. I can still see those two soldiers, at my door. Matt will ever be a treasure, I hold so dear. Some memories bring laughter and some bring a tear. He will forever be in my heart."


   It was a normal day. A boring Wednesday full of all the routine things we do on Wednesdays. Hitting snooze, hitting snooze again, getting up, getting dressed, driving to work. Only this Wednesday went from a normal Wednesday to a day full of awful news, devestating emotions and a sense of "how can this be?" It can happen in the blink of an eye. Life. It is not promised and it changes faster than we can imagine.

  Today I ask that you pray for the Clark's. Pray for peace, comfort and understanding. I also ask that we all open our eyes to see the blessings that surround us. Hug those that we love tighter, say I love you more and take none of the gifts we have been given for granted. It can all change in the blink of an eye.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

What is in A Name?

   As most of you know we found out last week that we are having a little girl. We were both very excited and started making plans right away. My plans have been on decorating the nursery, buying the cutest clothes that I can find and finding the perfect name for our little girl. Brian's plans have been to start preparing how he will handle her first date, how he will ever say "No" to a little girl, and he too has been on the lookout for the perfect name.

    Everyone's first question has changed from "Do you know what you are having?" to "What are you going to name her?" To be perfectly honest we really don't know and we may not know for sure until her birthday. We have looked high and low for the name that we feel will best suit our little girl. Our hope is to find a name that she is proud of, a name that we can both agree on, but most importantly a name that when spoken is known for her heart for God.

   There are so many names that when spoken we associate something with them. Some good, some bad. In the bible there is Ruth - I think of loyalty, David - a man after God's heart, Paul - a changed man that loves  God more than himself, Mary - a scared girl that chose God's will and promise over her fear. The list could go on and on. Then there are names in our culture like Lady Gaga - crazy dresser, Kanye - too outspoken, this list could go on and on as well.

   I guess what I am getting at is that it is more than the name. It is the legacy that goes with the name. Our prayer for our little girl is that the legacy that goes with her name is one that honors God, one that keeps His commands. We pray that the footprints she leaves on this life show that she is a woman of God, that she loves Him more than herself, that she is good to the best and to the least. The name itself doesn't really matter (and lets face it... not everyone will like her name) but the legacy; the legacy that is associated with her name matters. We pray everyday for this angel to love the Lord and to live her life in a way that pleases Him. We will continue on our search for that perfect name all the while praying for a child that loves the Lord.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

$100 Challenge

      A couple of Sundays ago Jeff's sermon was on the parable of the talents. He talked about how the master went on a journey and entrusted his talents to his 3 servants each according to their ability. One servant he entrusted 5 talents, one servant he entrusted 2 talents and one servant he entrusted one talent. When the master returned from his journey the servant with 5 talents had doubled it. The servant with 2 talents had doubled his and the servant with 1 talent had just that 1 talent. The master was upset with the servant with 1 talent. He had buried that talent and not even made an effort to use or increase it.


     At the end of Jeff's sermon he called 5 teams up front. Brian and I were one of these teams, each team was given a $100 bill and instructions to use this money in the next week in a way that glorified God. We were to come back the next Sunday and report what we had done and what we had learned. It sounds so easy it's 100 dollars and there are millions of things that we could do that glorified God. Brian and I both felt a pressure to do something really amazing but also to do something that God was telling us to do and not just something that we chose.

     Last week we spent the majority of the week talking with friends, praying asking God to show us, listening to other people's experiences, and talking to each other about where we felt that God was leading us. After countless prayers and conversations on Thursday night we decided what we would do. We gave our $ to a couple who have both been laid off within the last year and they are trying to raise their 9 year old grandaughter. We attached an annonymous letter with the money just telling them that this money was truly a gift from God and that we had prayed and we felt sure that God intended for them to be blessed with it. We also told them that we knew their finances were tight but we knew they had other gifts of their own that they could share with others. We asked them to please share their gifts for the glory of God. Gifts meaning time, prayer, a listening ear...the list is endless.

    On Sunday night all 5 teams went before the church to share what they had done with the money and also what lessons they had learned. We all had very similar experiences and we all learned similar things. Brian and I learned 2 very big lessons. The first, on Wednesday we listened to a CD of a pastor talking about this same type of challenge but one of the things that he said that struck me was this "In a Tale of Two Cities the book opens by saying "It was the best of times it was the worst of times" he said how sad is it that in church a lot of times we cannot differentiate the people going through the best of times with the people going through the worst of times? The people experiencing these best of times aren't sharing they aren't being open to allowing others to see their gifts' This hurt me because I felt guilty. God has given me so many gifts and so many times I don't share the things I am best at instead I bury them in the ground just like the servant in the Parable of the Talents.

    The second lesson was by far the most profound for us...All of last week we spent time trying to find someone that truly, in our eyes, deserved the money. Someone that wasn't going to waste it, someone that was going to really really appreciate it. We made stipulations on who should get this without even stopping to realize what we were doing. On Thursday night I layed awake and was just praying about this challenge and I realized how wrong we were. Jesus, precious Jesus he died for people who are going to waste it, he died for people who aren't going to appreciate it. He died for people who bury their gifts and their knowledge of Him. I laid in bed just thanking God. Thanking Him for the generosity, for taking a chance for giving His greatest gift even though He knew that so many would turn their backs or not appreciate it.

    As you can see the $100 challenge was a lesson but also a gift for me and Brian. May we all use the gifts that we are blessed with and share them with everyone even those that we don't feel deserve them.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Never Look Away

          Last December I started training for a half marathon. This was one of the most challenging and rewarding things I have done for myself to date. There were days where I would have an awesome run, I would stay motivated and sometimes even run further than what my goal for the day was. There were other days where I just really didn't want to run so I would set out to run and the entire time my mind wasn't focused and I would end the run discouraged. On one of these "bad" run days I was running with my husband and he told me to look straight ahead and pick a focal point far away. I did and I told him what it was and then he said "don't take your eyes off of it until you have reached it." This became my method for running I would pick something out a billboard or a tree and not take my eyes off until I reached it. Once I had reached it I would pick my next focal point and this would keep my mind occupied until my run was complete.

       In the 9th grade Brian decided that he wanted to be a dentist. He says from that point on his focus for studying for getting up and going to class were all driven on being a dentist. In college when he took Organic Chemistry and hated every second of it he says the thing that got him through was focusing on the ultimate goal he had set for himself...being a dentist. On weekdays when his classmates skipped class to go float the buffalo he stayed back and went to class because his eyes were still on the prize that he had set in the 9th grade.


      A couple of weeks before Christmas I went to my grandma's house to pick her up to go shopping. While she was still getting dressed I sat in her den. On her coffee table her bible lay open and a post it was stuck to the page that was open and it read "NEVER TAKE YOUR EYES OFF JESUS." At the time this was precious to me and still as I type this my heart is warm for the love that my grandma has for Jesus and for the lesson that this post it note taught me. NEVER TAKE YOUR EYES OFF JESUS...it sounds so simple or maybe it sounds so silly b/c we can't really see Him.

     The prize, the goal is Jesus? I say I believe that but then I get distracted by wanting the goal to be that new purse I have been saving up for. Or I make the goal about decorating the babies nursery. There are so many distractions in this world. So many things that take my eyes away from Jesus the true focal point. My prayer for this year is to keep my eyes on the prize. To look onward to the goal of Jesus.