ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM

       Last night I read an essay that one of my cousin's wrote for a college English class. She wrote the essay about my Nana. My Nana has been in hospice care for about 2 months now. When she started receiving hospice care they told us that the outlook was grim and that she might only have 6 days left on earth. Here two months later the reports are still very grim and it is one of those things that only God knows the time and day. So until she goes to Heaven we twinge every time the phone rings. My mom and her sister have truly worn themselves out doing everything they can to help my papa out. The emotional toil that it takes to watch your parent die is more than I ever imagined.  Brian's family went through the same thing with his grandad but it was during the first couple of weeks of Meritt's birth so those weeks are truly a blur for me.

      After reading the essay last night I sat on the couch with tears streaming down my face. Meritt was asleep in my arms and I rubbed her head and prayed that I enjoy every moment that I get with her because the essay was a reminder of just how short this life is. My cousin shared lots of memories of my Nana. As I read these memories they all came flooding back and it seemed like it was just yesterday that we were eating Sunday lunch at her house, or listening to her laugh at my dad and uncle Chris. It was so shocking to think that not that long ago my Nana was healthy and able to do as she pleased. I was struck with pain at the thought of how quickly time passes by.

     I am blessed to talk to my mom on the phone everyday. Many days we talk multiple times. I remember that not that long ago my mom and Nana talked on the phone everyday. I can't imagine the void my mom feels by not talking to her mother everyday. Again I am struck with pain at how quickly things change and how quickly time passes.

     My little Meritt can roll over, laugh out loud, sleep through the night, and follow me with her eyes and face as I walk through a room. I am ecstatic over all of these milestones and yet at the same time I get sad at how fast she is growing. These past four months have swished by me and while this reminder isn't so painful it is still a reminder of how quickly time passes by.

      I am so so thankful for the relationships in my life! So thankful for the blessing of family and for the gift of love. It is so sad to see the people we love the most suffer and it is so difficult to say goodbye. I am reminded everyday of just how precious life is and how quickly it goes. I pray that we all say extra "thank yous" for our blessings and that we savor this life more and more everyday!