Not So Typical Christmas

        I want to share a lesson I have learned from two new friends of mine, Jaylen and Juwan. First I want to let you get aquainted with these two boys.  They are twins and they are both apart of Skyline's mentor program. My mom is Jaylen's mentor so as a result these two boys have started coming to church with us and going to eat lunch on Sundays with our family. They are 100% all boy! Wild and hyper but secretly love the attention that they receive from my parents. They live with their mom and two older sisters (one of the sisters is special-ed).


       At the beginning of this fall/winter season the four kids had one coat to share. Each child had a day where the coat was theirs to wear for the day. Every night the twins sleep in the floor on a pallet because they don't have a bedroom and they certainly don't have a bed. Their diet consists of chips, vienna wieners, cookies and any other food that can be purchased at the dollar store. They have never been able to afford healthy options so they assume they don't like healthy foods. They have moved homes 4 times since the school year started. They have changed schools twice. Jaylen is made fun of almost everyday because he saves part of his food and puts it in his backpack to take home to share with his mom. Their Christmas decorations consist of a plug in candle in the window of the kids bedroom and Christmas pictures that they drew at mentoring hang on the living room wall. This past weekend their home was robbed. The thieves stole all their food out of the pantry and refridgerator. Their mom doesn't have a washer and dryer they wear the same school uniform the whole week and it gets washed at the laundromat on the weekends if their mom has money. I could go on and on.

    Why does their mom not get a better job? Why do people at church not give them money to live? Why do children have to suffer? All these questions I have asked and I am sure you are asking these questions as you read this now. I don't know all the answers but I do know that their mom does as much as she can by herself with 4 children(one being disabled). People at church have helped more than we know but there is a line that you can't over step. You can't make the mom feel that you are trying to be the mom, you can't give so much that they feel that they deserve it. I don't know why innocent children have to suffer but I do know that the mentoring program is a gift for these children and the love and attention they receive has all been provided to them by God.

    Good news they all got coats. They are about a size too big but that is good because they will still fit next year. The groceries that were stolen were replaced. The boys told us that their mom wanted something for Christmas and when we asked what they said she wants us to wake up on Christmas morning no matter what with a smile on our face.

      Even though there may not be gifts and there definitely will be no tree the boys know that the best gift is not the gift of things. Instead it is the gift of their family, the gift of Luke 2:6-7 the verses that Jaylen memorized and can say without any help. These boys have made me see how much I value things and how messed up my view of Christmas is. I was heartbroken that they didn't have a tree and I haven't even been heartbroken that their mother may not know the love of Jesus Christ. Thanks to Jaylen and Juwan for the Christmas gift that you have given to me and my family! You have opened our eyes and our hearts to see what truly matters. We are forever grateful. We pray for you everyday and we are excited to see your growth through Christ!

Christmas Memories

       Last night we had our small group Christmas party. It was hosted by our leaders Danny and Susie Walker and as always they truly out did themselves! We were all instructed to not bring a thing except for our favorite Christmas memory. The evening was filled with wonderful ciders and coffees, delicious foods and sweet fellowship. After we had all eaten we went into their family room to share our favorite Christmas memories and have a devotional.


     We got to here memories from everyone and it was neat how different everyone's favorite memories were. Some were hillarious (Brian driving a dirtbike into the side of a barn), Some were so sweet (the Jones taking cookies to the fire dept on Christmas day), some were sad ( Susie's last Christmas with her dad) and some were exciting (Brittany and Todd finding out they were pregnant with Hudson on Christmas morning).  With every memory shared I felt closer to the person sharing it. One thing that every memory had in common was that the memories were created with family around and everyone said in some way that family was what made Christmas so special.

      After the memories, Danny and Susie shared with us the purpose of the Advent wreath. This is not something that I was familiar with but I must say that what it represents is something that should be memorable for us all. This is a very brief description of the advent wreath but what it represents is very powerful.
           
           THE ADVENT WREATH It is a circular evergreen wreath (real or artificial) with five candles, four around the wreath and one in the center.
The circle of the wreath reminds us of God Himself, His eternity and endless mercy, which has no beginning or end. The green of the wreath speaks of the hope that we have in God, the hope of newness, of renewal, of eternal life. Candles symbolize the light of God coming into the world through the birth of His son. The four outer candles represent the period of waiting during the four Sundays of Advent, which themselves symbolize the four centuries of waiting between the prophet Malachi and the birth of Christ.The Center Candle represents Christ.

Last night was great! The memories shared were priceless. May we all celebrate our friends and family and put them before all the shopping, hustle and bustle of the season. May we never forget that Jesus came! He was born in a manger to a lowly girl for you and for me! Let's celebrate His birth and our salvation and let us make His story one of our very best memories!!

Brothers and Sisters

         It is my very favorite show! It comes on ABC on Sunday nights at 9p.m. If I am not home to watch it I always make it a point to tivo it. The show is about a family with 5 siblings and the life happenings of all of them. There has not been an episode yet where one of the siblings did not have some sort of major decision or major life event happening. The best part of the show is not the "drama" but instead it is the way that even during arguments the family rallies together, loves each other hard and solves problems as a team.


      I come from a large family. I have 3 brothers and Brian has 1 sister we often joke about how similar our real life is to the show. It seems that one of us always has something going on. A big decision, upsetting news, exciting news...there is always something. When one of us has a big decision to make it is our siblings that we always turn to. When one of us receives upsetting news the first people we go to are our siblings. When we have exciting news the first people to hear the news are our siblings. It is truly a joy to share life with brothers and sisters who root for you and deeply desire the best for each others lives.

   My brothers and sisters have seen me at my absolute worst. They have seen me at my absolute best and through it all they have loved me unconditionally. The same is true of them. I have seen them at both their worst and their best. I have loved them through it all. We have delivered tough messages to each other. Sometimes the truth hurts but it is what we all need to hear.

    This past weekend over the Thanksgiving holiday we were able to spend almost the entire weekend together. We laughed, talked about our futures, played and even cooked ducks at my house(this was my least favorite activity). The gift of siblings is a gift from God and I thank Him for creating the bond that we get to share! I also thank mine and Brian's parents for having siblings for us to enjoy :)

  My hope is that you all had a blessed Thanksgiving!!

A Week of Thanksgiving!

           Today kicks off the start of Thanksgiving week. This is a week where we gather with family, eat too much, watch parades and football and reflect on what we are thankful for. During the short life I have lived the amount of things I am thankful for are more numerous than I could list or describe. The blessings that have been poured out on me are not blessings that I earned or blessings that I deserved they are truly gifts and I am so thankful for all of them!

         I wanted to mention one blessing the best blessing that I have received in this lifetime. The cross/salvation/endless love from a heavenly father/forgiveness of sins. This blessing has changed my life for the better and I can truly say I will never be the same again! Without the cross or his forgiveness I would be a ruined sinner cast out as trash. But because of a Heavenly Father who loved me more than I could ever deserve or imagine I am free. My debt has been paid and I can shout that I am free!

    May we all stop this week and say thank you to Jesus for loving us and for freeing us. May we all stop and see that the love that God has for us is endless. It stretches farther than our eyes can see and it is bigger than we could ever imagine! May we all make a special effort to be more like Christ in what we say and do!

Some words from one of my favorite songs...

Thank You for the Cross Lord
Thank You for the Price You Paid
Bearing All My Sin and Shame
In Love You Came
And Gave Amazing Grace
Worthy is the Lamb
Seated on the Throne
The Darling of Heaven Crucified
Worthy is the Lamb

The Heart

       So small yet so powerful...the heart. It beats to keep us alive, it flutters when that special someone looks our way and when it is broken the pain is worse than any words can describe.

        An infection around the heart is what started my dad's whirlwind of sickness. The doctors say that the infection had most likely been around his heart since he was a small child. His heart had fought the infection for fourty plus years before a piece of it broke off and caused the hemorrhagic stroke. Thankfully even with the infection, stroke, brain surgery and heart surgery his heart is pumping as a normal 50 year old man's heart should.

       Brian and I got to experience our hearts flutter by leaps and bounds today. We got to hear the sweetest sound we have ever heard. We heard our baby's heartbeat, the rapid, repetitive beats were hard at work and reminded us of just how Powerful our God is! He makes the day, the night and in between he weaves babies together in the most perfect of ways. Flutter, flutter even typing this my heart flutters again with excitement!

      The broken hearted. Almost all of us have been there, we have felt the pain, loneliness and fear. I have seen people lose weight, cry themselves to sleep and feel that the hurt would never go away. In time the pain has been less severe and life moves on. At church we have been charged to pray "God break my heart with the things that break Your heart." A powerful prayer and how scary of the things that are revealed to us during this prayer.

    The heart. It is life saving and life changing may we never forget that God who is above all and in all is in charge of our every heart beat. He is in charge of the exciting things that happen in our lives and the bad things that occur. May we love Him more than we love ourselves and may we all pray
"God Break My Heart With the Things That Break Your Heart."

The Greatest Gift

   This summer Brian and I had the priveledge to go on a mission trip to Panama. The trip was for a week and for the majority of the trip we were in a remote jungle town. We had a medical clinic, pharmacy, dental office, optometrist and devotionals each night. The lines formed early every morning and people waited (without complaining) for hours. I got to work in all sorts of different areas while Brian was in the dental clinic everyday, all day. We got to witness so much but there is one thing that will remain in my heart for the rest of my life.

   Everyday the line to the dental clinic was very long, people waiting for hours and hours. This day was no exception the line was long and the number of teeth needing to be extracted seemed endless for Larry and Brian. One of the teens on the trip with us, Jesse Stroud, walked into the dental clinic and said that a dad had carried his paralyzed son to the clinic and that they were waiting in line. The son needed an extraction, the boy laid in his dad's arms and Jesse said the dad was very tired from carrying his son this whole way. We told Jesse to bring him to the front of the line. Now when I say "carried" I mean "carried" in the jungle there are no wheelchairs for the paralyzed, no walkers, no canes nothing. This boy was probably 11 years old and weighed probably 65-80 pounds and his dad had carried him all this way. Jesse took the boy from his father and carried him over to Larry. An interpreter told Larry which tooth was bothering the boy and Larry extracted it while the boy laid across Jesse's lap. The thing about this that I will never forget is the look in the father's eyes after Larry pulled his son's tooth. He had huge tears in his eye's and was so greatful that someone had taken care of his boy.

   As a parent can you imagine not being able to help your child? Not being able to make them feel better? This dad has dealt with this everyday of his son's life. His son was dealt a tough card and his disability, no doubt, effects their life every single day. Even with the hardships dealt to them he found a way to still be thankful. His eyes showed just how thankful he was. In this life we will all be dealt hardships of some sort may we all still look for reasons to be thankful and no matter how bad things get may we always know that we have a Heavenly Father who is carrying us just like that father carried his son.

Lessons From My Mother

     "The wind doesn't blow at night" this is a statement that my mom has tried to convince us is true for a very long time. My mom's grandmother told her this as a child and to this day my mom still "says" she believes it. I however have been to Chicago enough times to know that this statement is completely false.

    "Your dad is my best friend." My mom has said this thousands of times in my life and I've always believed it but last fall when my dad got sick I got to see these words in action. The sacrifices that my mom made, the love my mom showed could only be made and shown to a best friend.


"When you can't sleep at night it is because God is wanting you to talk to Him." I have never been a great sleeper and there was a period in the 8th grade where I really struggled with sleep. During this period my mom would tell me to talk to God and I found that in the middle of the night when the rest of the world slept I was able to pour my heart out to God in a way that I would've never done had it not been for my mom.

   I am a little older now and I can see just how smart my mom is (except for the wind blowing at night part). I now have a best friend in Brian and I have made a commitment to him to love him, to make sacrifices for him and to be the very best that I can be with him. The example that was set before me has made this task a little easier.

   I am also pregnant now so the whole lack of sleep thing has returned. I fall asleep fine but I find myself waking up at 2a.m. with my mind full of all sorts of things. It is during these late night hours that I find myself talking to God, pouring out my anxieties, excitments, and thoughts. How exciting that we serve a God who is open for communication 24/7?!

   I am thankful for the wisdom that my mom has shared with me and I am thankful for a God that listens to me and wants me talk to Him ANYTIME!!

Lessons from Complete Strangers

    This past weekend we had the pleasure to go to a fancy resturaunt. It was full of atmosphere, deliciousness, and great friends! One of the most entertaining parts of the night was the two elderly women that sat behind Brian. Everytime he ordered anything they would look over his shoulder to see what he had ordered and then call the waiter over to ask what he had just gotten. This became really funny to everyone at our table. These women were both decked out in their best pumpkin sweaters and biggest pumpkin earrings. They were real characters! When they got up to leave they walked right beside me and I asked how they liked their meal. They proceeded to tell us how much they loved the restaraunt, this was their first time to come to Memphis they were on a senior citizen trip and they had been told they could go wherever they wanted for the night. I am so thankful they chose to come to the same restaraunt as us because the life experiences that they talked about made me want to be a better, wife, friend and person. 

   As they stood at our table and talked they told us that they had been life long friends and they lost their husbands within two months of each other. They told us that losing their husbands was the worst thing they could've imagined but they came together and became each others rocks. They told us not to ever take our marriages for granted, to always appreciate our partner because they miss their husbands every single day. They also told us to hold your friends close to be good to each other because one day you will need them more than you can imagine. They told us they had to get back to their hotel to watch the rest of the world series and with that they were gone.

   Our entire table, including the guys, was in awe. We were in awe of the strength these women had, the loss they had experienced made us all sad, the friendship that they had made us all so happy! Who would have thought that two complete strangers from Buffalo, NY could make our entire table want to be a better spouse, a better friend, and a better person.
 
    Thanks to those women I squeezed Brian's hand a little tighter, I enjoyed the company of my friends a little more and I said a prayer that I may be as transparent as those women. I pray that God uses me as a vessel just like he used those women to change us for the better.

How Do I Handle This?

        Most of us have made that commitment to God. The commitment that we will love Him through the good times, the bad times...we will love Him through it all. It is so easy to praise God to give Him all the recognition He more than deserves when things are good. But the question...the question is this How do I love God when all this bad is happening in my life?

      February 2010 my best friend Kristin called and said that Nick's brother died. He was in the army stationed in Germany and doing a training excercise in a helicopter. The helicopter crashed everyone was killed. Nick's brother...early 20's left his widowed mother, his bestfriend and brother Nick, Kristin and his sister Rachael.  How do they love God when this tragedy is surrounding them?

    July 2010...Libby Ryder 26 years old, has an 8 month old daughter and along with her husband they have committed their lives and work to the Lord. They both work/serve at Young Life in Virginia. This summer Libby received news that no one wants to hear. CANCER. What now? 26 years old, baby at home, chemo every other week and a husband that struggles to sleep at night due to fear. How do they love God when this tragedy is surrounding them?

   October 2010 we are leaving for Florida when a friend is called into a conference room and told that she no longer has a job. They say it is "nothing you did we are just downsizing." Gut wrenching news and she is left with the question How do I love God when I am surrounded by this tragedy?

   When my dad was sick a good friend sent me the words to a song by Casting Crowns titled "I Will Praise You in This Storm" this song has motivated so many people who are going through times of grief, fear and abandonment. I will put the lyrics at the bottom of this post. They are so true and so comforting!

   When I was asking this question "How do I Handle This?" I was answered by reading Libby Ryder's blog. First let me say that I do not know Libby Ryder I found her blog through a friend. Her blog has been life changing for me and probably anyone else who has read it. This is what I have learned...God needs us to be His vessels to show Him, to share Him and this time of absolute devestation has been a time where Libby has been able to proclaim Jesus, she has shown an undeniable faith that is truly profound.

   So often I find myself thinking what God can do for me. God can you bless me with this, can you take care of this and so on and so on. The commitment to God isn't just one way. The commitment to Christ means that I am laying down my life to serve Him in the good times and the bad. I pray that my attitude will be "Here I am Christ send me..." whether it is down a dark windy road or a place of beauty. May we all be the vessels of Christ in all that we do!

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Here Goes Nothing...

    I discovered when my dad was sick last year that the best form of therapy for me was to write. I found that I could write about fears, frustrations, joys and for some reason sharing my feelings on this computer screen made me feel so much better! Since my dad's illness has improved I haven't felt that I had a lot to share; that is until last night...So with that being said here goes the first of many posts.


   Last night Brian and I had the priveledge to go eat at his grandparents house. In typical grandma fashion she made the best of everything! Chicken and Dumpling's, Swiss Steak (Brian's very favorite), lima beans, greens,fried okra, cornbread...you get the idea the healthiest of everything. ha! The revelation wasn't the food it was the prayer, the visiting, the love that his grandparents share 60 years into marriage. The four of us held hands and Brian prayed. We listened to stories told by his grandma ( many of them we have heard time and time again), We got to listen as his grandpa proudly proclaimed the greens and okra we were eating were from his garden. After dinner we got to watch them drink coffee and hold hands. The dinner was delicious but the lesson was life changing.


    The lesson of how blessed we are to get to spend time with our precious grandparents, to get to learn from them and to get to pray with them. Wow these are truly precious memories that will be with me for life. The marriage that they share is truly top notch! She puts his needs before her own and he puts her needs before his own. This results in the ultimate win-win situation. I am so thankful for the constitution of marriage. The idea that I get to share everything in this life with my partner, my best friend, Brian it is truly more exciting than I can ever describe in words!


    So the revelation that I had last night that made me start this blog was this...There will be times of tragedy, times of rejoicing, and times of just blah but during all these we learn such important life lessons if we just look and listen. May God open my eyes to see all that He wants me to learn, be thankful for and accept.