Over the last 12 weeks there have been several people that have asked when I was going to write a blog about Meritt. Everytime my answer has been the same...The love that I have, the experiences that have came are all so overwhelming that I can't begin to put it into words. Now I know as she grows there will be cute little stories that result in life lessons that will be fun to share but as for a blog about Meritt in general, well I don't know where to start and I don't know where to end. I will share a revelation that came to me in the car the other day.
My therapy is writing. Since Meritt has been born it has been on my mind and heart to write of her. To write of the overwhelming love and emotions that overtook Brian and I when we looked at her for the first time. Everytime I begin to write of this I am so overwhelmed with my love for her that I cannot put it into words. I find myself sitting in front of a blank screen wondering where I should begin the blog and 10 minutes later the screen is still blank so I shut the computer and leave the entry for another day.
A couple of days ago I was driving in my car thinking of this very thing when a thought came to me. My whole life I have been told that the love that God has for us is so grand that there is no way to possibly grasp it. The love that He has for us is unmeasurable. I couldn't help but think that while the love that I have for Meritt is so big that it can't be described; God's love for us is even bigger. It is even better than the love that I have for this precious girl. It is so funny that in the last 12 weeks my thoughts have been totally transformed. When Meritt is with us we are constantly taking care of her and giving her all the attention that a newborn needs (it is ALOT). Then when she is away the thought of her consumes my mind. Brian's parents and mine have babysat her several times and I trust them both more than they know. It is not the thoughts of if she's ok instead it is the thoughts of just how much I love her. I find myself praying multiple times a day just a simple prayer of thanksgiving for the blessing of Meritt. As you read this I am sure you get my point. She consumes my mind and she takes up a very large part of my heart.
I am humbled and overwhelmed to know that God loves us even more than that. I am thankful that God's love stretches farther than any number we can count, higher than any distance we can go, and longer than any ocean or land. Thanks be to God for His unmeasureable love!!
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