The Inspirational Betty

    

    Last night while looking at this picture I became overwhelmed with emotion. Not because I knew Matthew, the deceased, all that well but because of the background. Look at the lady sitting behind the memorial in the turquoise pants. That is the part that brought tears to my eyes and made me appreciate my blessings all the more.

   This Memorial as you can see is for CPL Matthew Clark. Two and a half years ago, February 3, 2010, Matthew and two others were killed when on a helicopter training excercise in Germany. The family of Matthew and the other two guys have forever been changed. They now have a pain in their heart and miss the voice and presence of Matthew every single day.

  Matthew's brother, Nick, is a very close friend to me and Brian. I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing when I got the call from Kristin, Nick's wife. I was devestated for Nick and his entire family.

   The woman in the background of the memorial is Betty Clark. She buried her husband too early in life. She also buried her son, Matthew Clark, way before his time. This picture hurts my heart because I cannot imagine sitting on that bench and looking at the spot that stole my son's future. That spot held him last. His mother didn't get to hold him last. That spot held him last. 

  As a mother now myself I have learned so much from Betty. I have learned that everyday with my child is precious. I have learned to not take my daughter for granted because no day is guaranteed.  I also know that no one will escape this life without heartache and hurt. What shapes us is how react to the heartaches in our life.

   While I am sure there is not a day that Betty doesn't grieve her precious Matthew she continues to live life and be such an inspiration to everyone that knows her. If you read this I ask that you say a special prayer for the Clark's as they continue to mourn their precious Matthew.
           

The Best Cravings

   When it has been a bad day or maybe a bad week what are the things you turn to to find comfort and satisfaction? If I am stressed or having a bad day I go shopping. I literally could shop everyday. I love to scour the stores to find that perfect item that was meant just for me! I can buy a phone case or a wallet or earrings...really anything and instantly I feel better. I get home and pull my purchase out of the sack only to feel empty again. If you have ever tried to fill a void with any earthly thing then you know what I am talking about.

   I have friends that have tried to fill this void with relationships. I have had friends that felt like if they met Mr. Right the void would then be full. They have spent countless time and heartache on relationships only to find that the guy is a loser or maybe he is fabulous but the void is still there. 

   I have had friends that have tried to fill the void with hobbies. Hunting, Running, or the beach these things all are great in the moment but at the end of the day when the hunt is complete, the runners high has deflated or the sun sets on the ocean the void begins to pour in.

   Over the past few weeks I have been praying a prayer and I want to share it...

Lord,  at the start of this day please fill me up to the brim with YOU. Fill me with YOUR ever satisfying love. Fill me with YOUR ever satisfying peace. Fill me with YOUR ever satisfying comfort. Lord, I want to be full of YOU so that I don't spend today chasing after everything else that will momentarily make me feel complete. I want to be complete in YOU because I know that YOU are the only thing that can make me whole. In Jesus name, amen.


It is so easy to crave the things of this earth. They all look so inticing. But if you spend a day full of the Lord you will find true comfort.

Girl Talk

  Eph 4:29. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

I cannot believe she wore that outfit last night! She has gained so much weight! Can you believe how she handles her kids?...All of these things and many more have came out of my mouth about people that I call sisters in Christ. I am ashamed, embarassed and sorry. I also will admit that it will probably happen a million more times during my life.


   It has always been a question of mine but why is gossip and slander so popular amongst females? I am not saying that guys don't do it but it is much less frequent than girls. A group of girls get in a room and they immediately start in on another girl. Words cut deep, they stay in your heart and in your mind long after the I'm sorry's are exchanged.

   Sunday morning our sermon focused on Ephesians 4:28-32. One verse imparticular jumped out at me. I made a pact with Brian on Sunday that this would be my focus for the week. I have only failed 10,000 times already this week but I have caught myself most of those times and gone back to the verse to reflect and refresh myself.

   Eph 4:29. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

  Wow I have been stunned this week at how big of a struggle this is for me. I have been made aware that so many of us call each other friends and sisters in Christ and worship in the same room only to turn around and say a nasty remark about each other. I am thankful for this verse jumping out at me.

   I am taking on a challenge and I encourage any of you reading this to take it with me...I am committing to build up people instead of tear them down. I am asking those that I know when they hear me say something that tears down to bring it to my attention so that I may go back to the verse and reflect.

   Eph 4:29. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

An Encouraging Friend

    It was Hot! The heat index was 100 plus degrees. The humidity was thick, really thick. I wanted to tell the girls I wouldn't be able to make it. I thought of a million excuses of why I couldn't run. But when it came down to it they were all just excuses and I knew if I ran I would have no regrets after. I knew if I didn't run I would have a million regrets the rest of the night...


   We started later than usual and we all talked about how it was too hot and we didn't really feel like running. We laced up our shoes, suppressed those negative thoughts and we hit the pavement. A few minutes into the run and I was feeling like a million bucks. Yes, I was hot but the stress of my day was escaping my mind with each step that I took. I ran past cute little kids on their bicycles and happy families that were playing in their yards. My side started hurting but I ignored it and continued pushing through.

    I had 3/4 of mile left when I started wanting to walk. I fought the urge and continued on. Then my side was really hurting I was in pain! I slowed to a jog and with about a half mile left I started to walk. I really hadn't been walking long at all when I heard a voice behind me. It was one of my girlfriends, she was yelling "keep going Brooke! you got this!" as much as I wanted to walk I picked up my feet and finished my run strong.

   I was so thankful for the encouragement because without it I most likely would've finished the last half mile walking. The encouragement reminded me of the blessings that our friends are. God blesses us with friendships with the intention that we encourage each other in our walk with Him. I am thankful for friendship and I pray that I am a source of encouragement to those around me. May we all build each other up in our walk with Christ and be there when we see a friend who is weary :)

Bath time Stories

   It's a new trick she's picked up the last couple of weeks. She now knows how to open the drain in the bath tub. She loves to open the drain and then listen to the water as it leaves the bathtub at a rapid speed and flows down the drain. Then everytime like it's the first time, she looks up and realizes all at once that her beloved bath water is leaving her tub. She looks at the water, looks up at me. Looks back down at the water, back up at me and then the tears begin to flow. I close the drain and all is better in her little bathtub world (until tomorrow's bath when she opens the drain).

  This scene is redundant, hillarious and pitiful all rolled into one. Yesterday was a messy day. We played outside and Meritt got sweaty and dirty so before lunch we headed in for a bath. The scenario that I described above played out and I got her out of the bath all the while trying my best not to cry at how funny and cute it was. Yesterday afternoon I spray painted a piece of furniture and Meritt played in a huge pile of dirt. Her hands, feet, and seersucker bubble all covered in dry dirt. So for the second time we headed in for a bath.

   It was during the second bath while Meritt was looking at her water and wondering why she couldn't enjoy the water in the tub and the sound of the drain all at the same time without having to sacrifice either that I was struck. Over these last couple of weeks I've thought how funny this little bath time scenario is. Yesterday I became reflective of my own life. How many times have I ate whatever I wanted, only to look down at the scale to find that the numbers were growing? Much like Meritt I've looked up and thought why can't I have both? Whatever I want to eat and still weigh 120? I have focused on things and people more than I have focused on God only to stop and wonder why I feel like God is so far away? Again I look up and wonder why can't I put all the things that bring me pleasure before God but still have God stay right beside me?

   As adorable as the story of Meritt in the bath is, it was also a reminder to me that I can't have everything. I can't have all the pleasures of this world without consequences. Every choice we make has a consequence. Whether we lose bath water or we get a speeding ticket. Every choice has a consequence. May we all be aware of our choices and stop and think before making decisions.

Hot! Hot! Hot!

     This past Sunday we got to church only to find that the air condition was not working in our sanctuary.  As it got closer to time for church to begin the sanctuary filled up with hundreds of people sitting side by side and immediately beginning to sweat. Brian and I had a little baby crawling all over us with rosy red cheeks from the heat. When she started to get fussy I took her to the staffed nursery where it was much cooler. I contemplated staying in the nursery myself and enjoying the cool air but I decided to go ahead and go back to the sanctuary.

   I went back to my seat and immediately began to regret my decision. I found some paper and like most everyone in the sanctuary I began to fan myself. It felt like we sang a million songs. It felt like peoples prayers went on and on and on. During a song while I was fanning myself something behind me caught my eye...I turned around to see a couple of rows behind me an entire row of inner city kids who were all participating in worship and not one of them was fanning themselves. I know several of these kids living situations and I know that they do not live in homes or apartments with air condition. I found myself putting my paper down and I stopped fanning myself. I started praying to God thanking Him for the little things that I take for granted. I thanked Him for kids like the ones sitting behind me that weren't complaining but instead were just thrilled to be at church and willing and ready to worship under any circumstance.


   The songs seemed to go a little faster and the sermon was over in a jiffy. May we all stop and look around and say a prayer of thanksgiving for the blessings that we take for granted all too often.

Seek Him/Find Him

     The birth of your child, the death of a loved one, a major sickness, the loss of your job it is circumstances like this that make this crazy fast world stop and shake much like an earthquake. Everything around you shutters, the people that interact with you stop for a moment check on you, pray with you and in a matter of almost minutes those people resume their lives. Much like cars on an interstate they zoom past you heading for their destination while you sit on the side of the road.


   Have you ever felt this way? Felt like you were the only person in the world whose world was standing still? At that moment when you are having self pity you look up to see a friend holding out their arm to help you pick up the pieces of your broken world. Or maybe there are no friends. Maybe there is no one who is stopping to help. Maybe they are too busy or maybe they have deserted you. It is in these times that if you seek God you stumble upon just the right verse or just the right gesture from a complete stranger. It is in those words or that gesture that God is leaning down from heaven reaching out His hands and helping you pick up the pieces or showing you just what steps to take to get to your destination.


  Thanks be to God who promises that if we seek Him we will no doubt find Him. May we all make the most of this life but all the while seek after God in all that we do!

It's Right in Front of You

    The other day I was opening a granola bar and it went flying. I'm not really sure how it happened but the wrapper flew out of my hands and so did the bar. They landed a couple of feet apart and as usual my dog, Jackson, was at my feet. He ran straight to the wrapper and sniffed it and you could just see the look in his eyes he was longing for the bar. I stood for a couple of seconds astonished that he was sniffing the wrapper and not devouring the bar. Then I bent down picked up the bar and the wrapper and it wasn't until then that Jackson realized that the bar had been there beside him the whole time.


   My goodness, how similar are we to my dog? We get so caught up wishing and thinking of the things or relationships that we wish we had that we don't take time to look up and see the blessings that are right before our face. And sometimes, sadly the only time we notice the blessings that God has given us are when they are being taken away.

   It is so easy to look around at the people in our lives and see all the good that they have be it jobs, relationships, health or materials. It is so easy to then examine our own lives and see the things we don't have or think about what we wish we had. We then are much like my dog sniffing the empty wrapper wishing that that it contained all the things we don't have all the while the blessings that God has bestowed upon us are 2 feet away being ignored.

  We serve a generous God oh how it pleases Him to see us using our blessings, being grateful for our blessings and expanding His Kingdom with our blessings. May we all take a couple steps back and savor all that God has given us. I promise you no matter the hardships you are experiencing the blessings you will see in your life are bountiful!

HOW?

      She's the woman awaiting results to find out if it's cancer, again.  He's the dad that helplessly waits for a donor to give his daughter a kidney.  It's the parents that haven't talked to their son in 3 months. They are the young couple who are trying for the 11th month in a row to get pregnant. It's the elderly woman that is pleading with God to heal her ailing husband. It's the single dad that is bringing his son up alone. It's the widow; every Sunday is a struggle but once again she walks in trying to get past her pain. Will the 9 month old that they've had since she was 6 weeks be taken away?



     Don't we all know these people? Maybe we don't know everyone of these people but I can almost bet that all of us know one of these people. Currently at this very moment I know every single one of the people above. I interact with each of these people on a weekly basis. When you read the above struggles you can't help but ask, how? How do they trust God when everything around them is caving in?

      A few Wednesday's ago our praise team gathered to sing at church. We sang songs like 'Mighty to Save' and I couldn't help but notice two grown men sitting in the pews of the sanctuary. They were the only two people even sitting. One was a dad of three kids. He had gotten word that day that neither he nor his wife could be the kidney donor for his daughter. The other was a dad of two girls. They are not his girls biologically, he and his wife foster them, but ask anyone that knows him or his wife and they will tell you that they are the very best parents to these girls.  Every week they ask themselves will this be the last week they are with us?

    As our praise team sang songs like 'Mighty to Save' and 'You are God Alone' these two dads sat on different pews. They had completely different burdens. They both had their eyes closed and they seemed to be giving their worries up to God. How? How do they give it up? How do they trust that His plan is the best plan? These two men and their families have weighed on my heart and mind since that Wednesday night. I have prayed for their families and for God to provide them with a calming peace as the await His plan to unfold. 

     I have also been haunted by their image on those pews. Never have I seen two people appear more trusting of God. They seemed to drink in the words of the songs we sang, ' Savior he can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save' and 'And right now in the good and the bad, You are on Your throne, You are God alone.' I have asked myself several times since then, How? How is it that everything is caving in around them and they still cling to God?

    Maybe it's because it's all they know to do in this desperate time. I think it's more than that. I think it is because God has always been faithful to them thus far. Granted His plan sometimes is completely different than what we would have chosen for ourselves but He has never turned His back on us. He is the Gracious giver that has provided us all a life with Him. During times of turmoil it is so easy to be anxious and not trust in Him. But when we do trust in Him we find a peace and a freedom that cannot be found anywhere else.

   

Love Your Loves!

If you have been in any sort of relationship then no doubt you have experienced it...petty bickering. Arguing over something completely unimportant and suddenly what was a petty argument has exploded into this HUGE, BIG, UGLY argument. Brian and I will be married 7 years this year so I can confidently say we have experience our share of petty bickering. Not necessarily something I am proud to admit but never the less has happened.


A couple of weeks ago Brian and I went to Greenfield to my aunts store I was being a very good "backseat driver" for most of the ride so it should not have surprised me when Brian snapped at me for telling him which parking spot to pull into. Unfortunately I was surprised and I did not handle it well. After he snapped I responded quickly with a tacky comment and then he back at me. Imagine a ping pong match of words...nasty words. "you drive me crazy telling me what spot to park in" " well you drive me crazy being the slowest person ever!" these comments continued and as Brian put the car in park I looked up and saw my grandad in the doorway of the store. I was painfully struck with the thought that my grandad would travel to the end of the earth to get to ride in the car with my grandma just one more time. Wow. The thought still pains me as I type it now.

This day was such a humble reminder of how blessed I am to have my husband here with me. This life passes so quick. I didn't realize just how fast until I experienced the death of someone so close to me and I have really been made aware now that I have a child. Like a dagger in my gut I was awakened to love my husband, cherish my husband and celebrate every moment that God blesses us with.

We were blessed to go away child free this past weekend and we really talked about our appreciation of each other. We talked about how quick life is and how much love we still have to give to each other. I am not exaggerating when I say this...our daughter at 8 months old already appreciates when she sees Brian and I greet each other at the end of the day. When he hugs me or kisses my forehead she smiles and hopefully it is teaching her at this young age to value marriage and to want a spouse that is much like her father.

With Valentine's tomorrow may we all stop and really take time out to tell the ones we love justbhow much they mean to us. May we pour out love on the ones we love and may we avoid the petty things that can so easily get in the way. Happy Valentine's!

Resolutions

        Well today is February 2nd and statistics say that 85% of us that made new years resolutions on January 1st have already left those resolutions behind. I am not sure if you are the type of person that makes new years resolutions or not. I am not a new years resolution type person. I have never been one to make resolutions and I think that a big part of the reason is because I know myself and I know that I wouldn't be disciplined enough to follow through for an entire year.


       This year however was different. I made a resolution. While I do need to eat healthier, lose weight, read my bible more (this list is endless) the resolution that I made was not about myself. I made a resolution to pray for someone new each week. Every Sunday since the begining of this year I have picked one person and I have prayed for them throughout the entire week. While driving my car, blow drying my hair, jogging through my neighborhood I have said prayers for a special person each week. Some of these people I have told and others I haven't even mentioned it to.

       This resolution has been relatively easy to keep. I have seriously enjoyed spending time focusing on someone else other than myself. It is so so so easy to get caught up in all the things that I would like to be different in my own life and when I focus only on me I find that I become bitter, jealous and selfish. To pray for someone else each week has taken the focus that I am so good at putting on myself and geared it towards someone else.

        If you are going through a time of self pity or a low in your life I encourage you to turn the focus off of you and turn it towards someone else. You will find that there is so much JOY in praying focusing and caring for others! You will find that seeing God work in the lives of others is such a reward!! May we all pray more and pray for each other!

So meaningless with so much meaning

     It sits on the counter above my kitchen sink. It smells like Cinnamon and it is red. It is a candle that I bought on October 24, 2011. It is completely burnt down to wear all that is left is the two wicks. I was cleaning yesterday and I picked it up to throw it away and I couldn't bring myself to drop it in the trash can. Why? I think that anyone reading this would agree that a candle is a pretty meaningless object. This candle that I have described isn't just any candle. I bought this candle the day my Nana died. We were at the florist picking flowers for her casket and I just felt so empty so I did what I usually do when I need to feel better...I bought something (ha!). I bought 2 of these candles one for me and one for my mom. I remember thinking to myself that this candle is really big it is going to last for a really long time. Well it's been three months and the wax has all burned and there really isn't a use for this candle in my house but I can't let it go. This candle that is so meaningless has so much meaning for me. It reminds me of that last day of my Nana's life. It reminds me of the tears, the love and the bond that my family shared in saying goodbye to my sweet Nana.



     So meaningless with so much meaning. We all have objects in our life that hold sentimental value. I am thankful for the reminders that these objects provide.