There she sits on the edge of her bed, tears streaming down her face, she has sat here before, 15 other times but who is counting. It is all the same, the pain, disappointment, emptiness, anger, yep it's all the same. She looks at the plastic test in her hand, gosh, if it only had two lines things would be so different. One line, she knows she needs to tell her husband but she is so disgusted with herself, with the process, with her husband, she is disgusted and doesn't want to have to tell him that once again she failed the test. What is so different about her body? Why is she the only person on the entire planet that can't carry a child to term?
She goes to church, to the grocery, to target, literally everywhere she goes she is bombarded by women with protruding baby bumps and if they don't have the bump it is because they are cradling their tiny bundles of joy that have just been born. It seems like every time she logs onto Facebook there is another pregnancy announcement. She is surrounded and constantly reminded that once again it is not her that is expecting. The variety of emotions that swell up inside her when she sees a pregnant woman are overwhelming. There is sadness, jealousy, anger, hopefulness, anxiety, joy at the thought of the miracle, the emotions are many and they consume her entirely.
Her heart aches for a baby, her heart aches for the babies that she miscarried. She tosses and turns at night wondering when/if she will ever be blessed with her own bundle. She knows that no matter the valley that she is asked to walk through, that God is faithful and that He will make a way. She has walked through other dark valleys in life and God has always shined a light and provided a way. She opens her bible and begins to read, God speaks to her and she is comforted by His voice. She feels the multitude of friends that are praying for her and at times of desperation she closes her eyes and pictures all of her friends going before God on her behalf. A peace blankets her.
We all know this girl, maybe her circumstances aren't exactly the same, but we all know someone who struggles with infertility. May we all go before God and pray for her as she struggles through questions that go unanswered, heartache, and disappointment. If you are this girl, may you know that you are not alone and you are not walking through this valley alone. May you feel the multitude of prayers that are being lifted on your behalf. May you never forget that God is faithful.
She sits on the edge of her bed, tears streaming down her face and this time she isn't holding a test. She is holding letters written to her by friends who are committing to pray for her and be there for her as she struggles through this awful time.
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