With a few days standing between me and Christmas I have found myself busy with all the "adult" tasks that one would need to complete before the actual festivities begin. I have purchased, wrapped, baked, attended class parties and last I finally decided to clean. Today as I vacuumed my eyes glanced first to my daughter; sitting indian style in the floor working a puzzle. I smiled as I watched her little eyes gaze around searching for her next perfect piece. I felt pride as I watched her find piece after piece and eventually complete her puzzle. God, please help me remember.
I vacuumed several other areas and eventually ended up in my room. There my son laid on the floor, barefoot, two little matchbox cars in his hands. He rolled the cars back and forth, talking to the cars as he pushed them. He heard the vacuum and looked up to meet my eyes; we both smiled. God, please help me remember.
As everyone has warned, the older my kids get the faster this life is going. I really do try to drink it all in. The tender, sweet moments and the moments of discipline. The good and the not so good. The days when they are healthy and full of energy and the days where they need to lay on me and get well. God, please help me remember.
Today my two year old asked "Mommy, what Santa bring you?" I laughed and told him once you are married Santa doesn't come anymore. Not even sure he understood what my answer meant. Today I have caught myself asking "what would you want if you could have anything?" And today as I vacuumed my answer was clear as a bell...God, help me remember.
This phase of life it is busy. This phase is full of joy and pain. This phase is tiring. This phase is more fulfilling than I ever dreamed. This phase is full of guilt. This phase is full of these little people teaching me BIG Christ like lessons. This phase makes me want to be the best I can be. This phase makes me yearn for their bedtime to hurry up; then come downstairs only to miss them. This phase is full of all the feels.
More than anything I just want to remember it all. God, help me remember.
Babbling Brooke
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Squeezing Tightly
In June a new workout place, called Pure Barre, opened here in Jackson. I have heard things about this franchise for years and always hoped that Jackson would get one. When I heard the news that Jackson was getting one I could not get signed up fast enough. It is much different than the running or interval training I normally do. The classes last 55 minutes and they are HARD!! Just when I think that I can master something I find that they change everything up. It is addictive, challenging and most importantly IT WORKS! My strength and stamina have improved immensely and I truly look forward to my classes!!
The reason I bring up Pure Barre is because in every class we do thigh work. We do all kinds of things but sometimes our instructor will tell us to zip our legs together so tight that "even a $100 dollar bill" couldn't slip through. Everytime I look down at my thighs, squeezing them so tightly and picturing a $100 bill. My mind is constantly wandering and recently after class I was thinking to myself "what are some other things that are important that I would want to hold on tight enough to so that it wouldn't slip through my grasp?" Many things came to mind...My debit card, my car keys, my wedding band. As my mind wandered the things got more personal and more real.
I went from thinking of things I would hate to lose and drifted to relationships, to people that I love. I thought of my kids and then the stabbing pain hit my heart...they painful reminder that they are mine for a short time. No matter how hard I squeeze, no matter how hard i hold on these days of children at home are zipping by. As all of us moms already know; these days are hard but gosh they are such a gift. I am reminded that though I can squeeze with all my might, each day is another day older and another day closer to them leaving my nest and becoming their own adult self.
So today I will hug them a little longer, I will let them see me do something for someone that cannot repay me, I will read them one more story, I will tell them how deep & wide & vast the Lord's love for them is, I will let them help me cook even though it will make a huge mess, I will teach them to love EVERYONE without restraint, I will pray in front of them & with them and I will tell them of the wonderful things that the Lord has done and is doing in my life and in the lives of those I love. And even though I know it won't work, I will keep squeezing tightly.
The reason I bring up Pure Barre is because in every class we do thigh work. We do all kinds of things but sometimes our instructor will tell us to zip our legs together so tight that "even a $100 dollar bill" couldn't slip through. Everytime I look down at my thighs, squeezing them so tightly and picturing a $100 bill. My mind is constantly wandering and recently after class I was thinking to myself "what are some other things that are important that I would want to hold on tight enough to so that it wouldn't slip through my grasp?" Many things came to mind...My debit card, my car keys, my wedding band. As my mind wandered the things got more personal and more real.
I went from thinking of things I would hate to lose and drifted to relationships, to people that I love. I thought of my kids and then the stabbing pain hit my heart...they painful reminder that they are mine for a short time. No matter how hard I squeeze, no matter how hard i hold on these days of children at home are zipping by. As all of us moms already know; these days are hard but gosh they are such a gift. I am reminded that though I can squeeze with all my might, each day is another day older and another day closer to them leaving my nest and becoming their own adult self.
So today I will hug them a little longer, I will let them see me do something for someone that cannot repay me, I will read them one more story, I will tell them how deep & wide & vast the Lord's love for them is, I will let them help me cook even though it will make a huge mess, I will teach them to love EVERYONE without restraint, I will pray in front of them & with them and I will tell them of the wonderful things that the Lord has done and is doing in my life and in the lives of those I love. And even though I know it won't work, I will keep squeezing tightly.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Her Village
I recently read a post from a fellow mom friend. It read
"I am in need of encouragement. I don't need or want advice, just encouragement. Between a strong willed, potty training toddler, a new baby & a husband out of town with work I am just struggling. If some of you can just encourage me and tell me that I can do this. I just need encouragement that I can make it through the rest of this day..."
As I read her words I felt the vulnerability in her words, I pictured tears rolling down her face as she typed, I saw her sitting on her bathroom floor with the door shut trying to hide herself for just a few seconds. She had probably considered typing those words before but was worried of being judged for needing/soliciting encouragement. But the time had come, she had reached a point that she was more than ok to admit that she needed her village. And boy did her village show up!
Much like a line to a new release movie, was the line of mom's and friends writing the most beautiful, encouraging words. Mom's confirming that they had been in her very place and now several years later were living proof that she would make it through, mom's offering to keep her kids for a couple of hours so that she could shower and have some time to herself. She had friends that said they might not be a mom but they wanted to share verses that had been just the encouragement they needed on days that felt impossible. This mom who a couple hours before had been on the brink of throwing in her towel was suddenly being flooded with her village. They were filling her up emotionally, spiritually and physically.
In a world where Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook exist it is so easy to see pictures of people's good days and hold them up beside our bad days. In a world where everyone has an answer and a solution it is so easy to feel as though you are the only one failing at this mom thing. In a world where it doesn't seem you could ever take to social media to post about your REAL struggles...the post is there. A vulnerable friend who puts her insecurities aside and asks for help. And as warm as her cup of coffee is to her lips so are the words of her dearest friends. Much like a small village that has to work together to survive she finds her village of friends lining up with encouraging word after sweet encouraging word. She smiles and picks herself up off of her bathroom floor and she KNOWS that she can finish today.
May we all be transparent vessels that share our struggles with our village, for we were never meant to bear our struggles alone. May we all be encouraging to the friends in our village. In a world where it is so easy to tear each other down let us do what feels good and build each other up! May we all work together to have a successful village where I am weak, you are strong.
"I am in need of encouragement. I don't need or want advice, just encouragement. Between a strong willed, potty training toddler, a new baby & a husband out of town with work I am just struggling. If some of you can just encourage me and tell me that I can do this. I just need encouragement that I can make it through the rest of this day..."
As I read her words I felt the vulnerability in her words, I pictured tears rolling down her face as she typed, I saw her sitting on her bathroom floor with the door shut trying to hide herself for just a few seconds. She had probably considered typing those words before but was worried of being judged for needing/soliciting encouragement. But the time had come, she had reached a point that she was more than ok to admit that she needed her village. And boy did her village show up!
Much like a line to a new release movie, was the line of mom's and friends writing the most beautiful, encouraging words. Mom's confirming that they had been in her very place and now several years later were living proof that she would make it through, mom's offering to keep her kids for a couple of hours so that she could shower and have some time to herself. She had friends that said they might not be a mom but they wanted to share verses that had been just the encouragement they needed on days that felt impossible. This mom who a couple hours before had been on the brink of throwing in her towel was suddenly being flooded with her village. They were filling her up emotionally, spiritually and physically.
In a world where Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook exist it is so easy to see pictures of people's good days and hold them up beside our bad days. In a world where everyone has an answer and a solution it is so easy to feel as though you are the only one failing at this mom thing. In a world where it doesn't seem you could ever take to social media to post about your REAL struggles...the post is there. A vulnerable friend who puts her insecurities aside and asks for help. And as warm as her cup of coffee is to her lips so are the words of her dearest friends. Much like a small village that has to work together to survive she finds her village of friends lining up with encouraging word after sweet encouraging word. She smiles and picks herself up off of her bathroom floor and she KNOWS that she can finish today.
May we all be transparent vessels that share our struggles with our village, for we were never meant to bear our struggles alone. May we all be encouraging to the friends in our village. In a world where it is so easy to tear each other down let us do what feels good and build each other up! May we all work together to have a successful village where I am weak, you are strong.
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