Monday, May 1, 2017
Weeds to Wildflowers
As ready as my physical body was to welcome Wells, my emotional side was apprehensive. How could I possibly love another child like I love Meritt? How will I be able to get 2 children dressed and ready everyday? What will Meritt do when so much of my time will be occupied with a newborn? These and so many other questions and doubts ran CONSTANTLY through my mind. Emotionally I wasn't sure it was time.
Three years ago today Meritt and I were heading to the store to purchase some last minute baby items. While driving we passed by a field full of (to me) yellow weeds (to Meritt) pretty yellow flowers. From her car seat she exclaimed "look mommy pretty yellow flowers" something prompted me to pull over on the side of the road and let her play in them. Meritt ran and picked flowers, she smelled them and explored the large field. I smiled as I watched her little spirit enjoy life; even while smiling i was struck with the anxious pain that had haunted me so much the last several months...How are we going to do this? How are we going to love two kids equally? How is all of this going to work? I began to pray and ask God to intercede to calm my fears and to give us the strength and guidance we needed to parent two children.
Meritt played for 10 or so minutes and I spent those minutes praying to God. As I buckled her in the car I felt an overwhelming peace. Many uncertainties lied ahead of us but I knew that God was with me and that assurance was more peaceful than i can describe. I took one more glance at those yellow weeds but strangely they looked more like flowers to me now too.
Every April & May I pass these yellow wildflowers and I am always reminded of my prayer to God. When I see the wildflowers I smile because I remember God's faitfulness. Wells is now 2 and Meritt 5 and at this point in life it is almost comical that I was so anxious about something that now seems so silly. That is one of the MANY things that I love so much about God, though. No matter how petty or small our concern is He wants us to give it to Him. He cares for our small concerns as much as He does the big ones just like He cares for the weeds of the field as much as the beautiful wisteria on the vine. Thanks be to God for hearing it all and being there for it all. From weeds to wildflowers He is there.